I hope I write good, unrealistic dialogue. Because the real dialogues that take place in my life just aren’t the kind of thing that any editor worth their salt would ever allow an author to keep on the page.
Take this example, which isn’t real (because there is no way I could recall an entire actual conversation between Geri and me. I’ve tried) but it’s a close approximation of our dialogues:
Do you know what my kid did this time? She cut through the power cord to her clock radio! Clean through, while it was plugged in! The scissors actually have scorch marks. And on top of that, she actually said “I don’t know how this happened! I didn’t do it…” Yeah, right.
Oh, I know all about the lying thing. My kid… (insert a few hundred words here where she relates an anecdote about her own child lying…somewhere in the middle, she mentions the words “at church”) …and he did it with a straight face. I was watching him the whole time, he knew he was caught, and he still lied to my face.
Our church went through the same thing… (insert a few hundred words here about something that happened at church. But before I actually get to the point, I say something about my GPS) …which led me in circles, which was why I was late…
This prompts Geri to tell me about her own adventures with GPS, and I forget all about what the church anecdote was, because she mentions brownies, and I start talking about nuts.
This can go on for hours.
This has gone on for hours all week, as I’m staying with Geri and her family so I can be close to my parents while my father recuperates from double bypass surgery.
So if we’re both behind on our NaNaWriMo manuscripts, you know why.
The shortlink for the post is http://wp.me/p1qnT4-tA