Honeytoast is the very sad kitteh of Tiffany Reisz, erotica writer extraordinaire, author of the Original Sinners and editor of Felt Tips.

I live with two writers. I like sad books. I rate books on a scale of 1 to 5 sads. Also, I’m sad. You can follow me on twitter@HoneytoastReads

1)    You have a beautiful name! What is its origin?

My person was watching a show on Disney called Even Stevens and the crazy boy on it pretended his name was Lars Honeytoast. So my person called me Honeytoast. I’m not the color of honey and I don’t get to eat toast. My name is very sad to me.

2)    What is the saddest book you’ve ever read?

The Return of the Native by Thomas Hardy. If there was any chance I could be happy someday, it died when I read this book. I’m glad it died. And also sad.

3)    How do you feel about sock monkeys?

They aren’t sad enough to my liking.

4)    What is it you find most true about the writings of Kierkegaard?

I think Kierkegaard was right that people are sad. But I’m sad he never talked about cats. We are also sad or, to use the Danish term, “fortvivlelse.”

5)    Have you studied any other existentialists?

What’s an existentialist? Is that like a sock monkey?

6)    What is the saddest book you have ever read?

See question #2 for my answer.

Andrew Shaffer, one of Honeytoast’s humans.

Tiffany Reisz, another of Honeytoast’s humans.

7)    Both of your humans are writers. Do you read their works?

No. They’re books aren’t sad enough.

8)    Have you read all the stories in Felt Tips?

Not sad enough.

9)    Do you have any idea what happens to Nora in The Mistress?

Yes.

10) Have you read Dante Alighieri‘s 14th-century epic poem Divine Comedy?

Only the Inferno. It was nice and sad. I liked all the sad people in it.

11) Why did Tiffany name the Indie Publisher for the Felt Tips anthology The Eighth Circle?

I think it had something to do with all the wine she was drinking that night.

12) Did Tiffany take you to see Les Miserables?

She hid me in her pocket which made me sad. Why don’t they let kittehs see movies?

13) Are any of the beings who share your home truly evil?

There’s the Bad Orange Man, Buckley. He’s pretty evil. Sometimes he bites my face.

14) Is Buckley a good house-mate?

Only when he’s not biting my face.

15) Are you a fan of Grumpy Cat?

I think we’d have a lot to talk about.

16) Is there anything that makes you happy?

Unconsciousness.

17) Have you always been sad?

Yes. I was a sad kitten. There are pictures of me sadding.

18) Do you like being sad?

Does it look like I like being sad?

19) What do you want for Christmas?

Sadness on earth, good sad toward men.

20)  Who shot first, Han or Greedo?

      Han and when George Lucas changed it, it made me sad.

Today’s fiction post, by coincidence, is also about cats…