Interview With Andrew Shaffer

Posted on December 13, 2012 by AmyBeth Inverness

andrew_shaffer_low_res_colorAndrew Shaffer is the author of Great Philosophers Who Failed at Love and, under the pen name “Fanny Merkin,” Fifty Shames of Earl Grey: A Parody (a Goodreads Choice 2012 Semifinalist). His next book, Literary Rogues, will be released by Harper Perennial in February 2013.

His writing has appeared in such diverse publications as Mental Floss, Maxim, and The Huffington Post. He reviews romance, erotica, and women’s fiction for RT Book Reviews magazine.

Shaffer attended the Iowa Writers’ Workshop for a summer semester and studied comedy writing at Chicago’s The Second City. He is also the creative director of Order of St. Nick, the greeting card company whose irreverent cards have been featured on The Colbert Report, NPR, and FOX News.

An Iowa native, Shaffer currently lives in Lexington, Kentucky, a magical land of horses, basketball, and bourbon. You can find him most days causing trouble on Twitter at @andrewtshaffer,@evilwylie, and/or @proudzombiemom. He is repped by Brandi Bowles (Foundry Literary + Media).

1)  Counting pseudonyms and twitter handles, how many identities do you have?

I am published under two names (Andrew Shaffer and Fanny Merkin), at least as far as anyone knows. I tweet as @andrewtshaffer, @evilwylie, @emperorfranzen, and @proudzombiemom—again, as far as anyone knows. So, six? A minimum of six.

2)  What path did you take the first time your work was published?

My first-ever published work was a short story in a literary zine. Well, that’s not entirely accurate: I self-published zines as a teenager, which included everything from comics to interviews to short stories. My first “real” publication was Great Philosophers Who Failed at Love, which began life as a series of Nietzsche anti-Valentine’s Day greeting cards.

Andrew fiftyshames3)  How long did 50 Shames of Earl Grey take to go from inspiration to publication?

I wrote it in ten days back in February and March of this year, and it took another two months or so to go through the editing process with Da Capo Press. During that time, there were several self-published parodies that hit the market, but I’m glad we took the time we did to make it as funny as possible.

Andrew earlgreyxmas-large-cover4)  Your book An Earl Grey Christmas came out a couple days before this interview. If a naïve, tea-loving passerby happened to pick it up, what would they find?

It’s a humorous tale about an Amazon employee who hunts through the Amazon warehouse for the perfect gift for her husband, and encounters a band of ex-employees (led by Steve Jobs) intent on overthrowing Amazon and gaining control of publishing. So, a heartwarming story that will appeal to anyone?

5)  Is there something kinky about the hand position on the cover of both Earl Grey books?

Not that I’m aware of.

6)  Why did you choose the pseudonym Fanny Merkin?

A “merkin” is a pubic hair wig. I found the name in a book of funny names from the 18th and 19th centuries—it was an actual woman’s name.

7)  Is there any marketing advantage today for a male author to use a feminine pseudonym, or an entire female persona? Is the opposite true for a female author using a masculine or gender-indeterminate name?

I just read something last week about how women who write thrillers and science fiction still take masculine and gender-indeterminate names sometimes; the reverse is true for men who write romance and erotica. I chose to use a woman’s name because I didn’t want Fifty Shames to seem like an attack on women’s fiction. Whether or not using a female pen name “worked,” I have no idea.

Andrew Literary Rogues8)  You have another book coming out in February, Literary Rogues: A Scandalous History of Wayward Authors. Is a little scandal good for a writer?

A little scandal is a good thing; too much scandal is a distraction. Having said that, an author’s true value in the long term is measured by their words and not by their deeds or behavior.

My story "In the Closet" tells how one woman deals with the frustration of an anniversary dinner cut short. (Erotica/soft SciFi)

9)  Besides being a writer, what other jobs have you performed in the publishing industry?

I review romance, erotica, and women’s fiction for RT Book Reviews. I write about publishing for places like Mental Floss, The Huffington Post, and Suicide Girls. I also design covers (including the Felt Tips cover).

Mollynogging10)  Is it true that you spend much time mollynogging and have been known to dress up like Mr. Darcy?

No comment.

11)  With two writers in the house, do you enhance each other’s creativity?

We give each other space when we’re on deadlines, and sometimes bounce ideas off each other.

12)  What is your favorite electronic or digital writing tool?

Scrivener is indispensable when writing nonfiction.

13)  What is your favorite non-electronic writing tool?

Moleskine notebooks.

14)  What is the most persistent distraction from writing?

Televised sporting events. I don’t get much writing done on Saturdays or Sundays during football season.

15)  What do you love most about the English language?

The number of swear words and phrases is virtually endless.

16)  What do you hate most about the English language?

I don’t hate anything about it. It seems like a decent enough language, though the only one I have to compare it to is Spanish.

17)  What was the last dessert you ate?

I just had a “no-sugar-added apple pie” at Cracker Barrel last night, and it was fantastic. Thanks for asking.

18)  What’s your least favorite Christmas song?

“Little Saint Nick.” What an awful, horrendous abomination.

19)  Coffee or tea?

I go back and forth, actually. Coffee for four days, tea for three; then vice versa. Maybe I’ll throw in a Red Bull or two—I don’t discriminate when it comes to caffeine.

20)  Who shot first, Han or Greedo?

Han. But Greedo flinched, so Han was justified.

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12-12-12

Posted on December 12, 2012 by AmyBeth Inverness

ROW80LogocopyHow am I doing on my #ROW80 goals?

Fracking Fantastic! Today my story was published! 

OK… I’ll calm down. Well, no I won’t… but I’ll keep my composure.

The actual writing goals? Very good, actually, although my focus has temporarily shifted from the novels to short stories for anthologies. I have one submission in waiting for a response, one submission waiting for the crit group next week, and another submission that is about 3/4 through the rough draft. My daily word count is consistently close to the “very good” level.

Speaking of anthologies…

My story "In the Closet" tells how one woman deals with the frustration of an anniversary dinner cut short. (Erotica/soft SciFi)

Felt Tips is out today!

Shoshanna Evers, Kelly Jamieson, Karen Stivali, Karen Booth, and forty other authors share their office-supply-inspired fantasies in Felt Tips, an eclectic anthology of erotic literature. This collection is edited by bestselling author Tiffany Reisz, who contributes “Teacher’s Pet,” a brand-new Original Sinners short story. All proceeds from the sale of Felt Tips will be donated to an organization that helps struggling schools supply their classrooms.

My story In the Closet tells how one woman deals with the frustration of an anniversary dinner cut short. For you SciFi fans, this also involves a curious and somewhat voyeuristic AI…

My story is "Abandon" about a woman with a unique approach to dealing with her personal challenges.

If erotica isn’t really your thing, I also have a short story in Precipice, the Literary Anthology of Write On Edge.

The first volume of Precipice showcases twenty-one short stories and essays by seventeen members of the Write on Edge community.

My story Abandon tells of a woman who uses tattoos in a unique way to deal with her personal challenges.

Posted in ROW80, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , | 6 Comments

SciFi Q of the Day: Push or Pull

Posted on December 10, 2012 by AmyBeth Inverness

  science_doesnt_suck_fitted_tshirtSciFi Question of the Day: Is there any scientific reason that suggests it would be easier to build a tractor beam that pulls instead of pushes, or vice-versa?

Facebook Answers

  Dave Mac   I would think emiting a force to repel would be easyer than grabing something and pulling it. The reason is because not all objects are made from the same material.

  Bill Nevin   I always thought of tractor beams like magnets on the same frequency…so my answer to your question is simply yes

  Iain Penman if the physics works as I expect it would, a “tractor” beam would pull both objects together, with the mass of the objects contributing to which one was moved further (relatively). In a push effect, the same rules would apply, but the effects would be less predictable, as the “source” of the beam would be moved backwards as well. since these beams are always displayed as projecting forwards (in every sci-fi show i can recall) i guess the propulsion system would be used to stop the source machine from moving away, so the subject of the beam is moved further?

  Dale Thelander   A beam that pulls is a tractor beam. A beam that pushes is a repulsor beam. They would work on two dissimilar principles.

  Douglas S Caprette   Of the four known natural forces two only pull, one only pushes and one goes both ways.

  Dan Bressler   What Douglas said – tho I will point out that the strong and weak nuclear forces would be unlikely candidates for an application like this. You could argue for a gravity-based pull only beam, or assume EM, which would be either/or.

  Eric Schmitt   with a tractor beam, you get to wear overalls and a straw hat.

  AmyBeth Fredricksen   …and the cool tan that goes with it!

  Dale Thelander We’ve gone from science fiction to Kenny Chesney videos.

  AmyBeth Fredricksen   Some Kenny Chesney videos ARE SciFi…

  Douglas S Caprette Well I’m not a big fan of fan-wank, but according to popular opinion the Star Trek Warp Drive works by distorting space. The only thing we know that distorts space is mass. So if the tractor beam is based on similar technology that would suggest that it should pull, rather then push, or such, rather than blow.

 Dale Thelander   Don’t you mean “suck?”

  Dan Bressler   Science doesn’t suck!  http://www.cafepress.com/mf/24587551/science-doesnt-suck_tshirt

www.cafepress.com

Ask a chemistry or physics teacher – science doesn’t suck, it just creates a vacuum.

Google Plus Answers (Public Post)

  Darren Landrum  I remember an episode of Star Trek: TNG that depended on getting the tractor beam to push instead of pull. Unfortunately, it was another one of those “boy wonder Wesley saves the day” episodes. And it’s sad that I say that, because Wil Wheaton has turned out to be a pretty cool guy.

  Eoghann Irving  Hmm. I guess it might depend what method is being used to create this tractor beam. If it was something similar to magnetism then of course there is direction and that would be a factor when designing the beam.

But on a purely physical level it takes the same amount of energy either way.

  Darren Landrum  … But now let me try to actually answer your question instead of leave dumb comments.

There are two principles I can think of off the top of my head you could use to make a tractor beam: a large magnet, or some way of creating a gravity field.

The large magnet method is going to depend on the target to be towed being ferromagnetic, and will therefore always be attractive. The gravity method kinda has the same problem: it’s always going to be attractive.

There’s new observations of the cosmos showing the existence of “dark energy”, which is a repulsive force permeating the universe, kind-of an opposite of gravity. However, a “dark matter” beam would likely have to be a separate device from a “gravity tractor” beam, unless you could somehow conflate the two ideas, like using some kind of “negative matter”, which is a real idea in physics, but only theoretically.

  Mince Walsh  Tractor beams are now a reality using some pretty interesting laser technology although so far they can only move a few molecules. At first they could only push but recently they have come up with a method to pull also. To get beyond moving only a few molecules, a few new breakthrus will need to be performed. But push is definitely easier than pull.

  Samuel Falvo II  +Darren Landrum. Magnetic fields can also repel if you move them fast enough. Modern maglev trains work on exactly this principle. Moreover, they work better with non-ferrous metals, like copper, aluminum, zinc, etc.

The idea is to create a moving b-field with sufficient intensity that the induced electrical eddy currents create an equal but opposite polarity b-field, thus repelling the object.

Of course, there has to be sufficient metal content in the object for this to work.

Thus, I feel, especially since we have far more non-ferrous metals than we do ferrous, it’s way easier to build a repulsor than it is an attractor.

  Darren Landrum  Ah, taking advantage of back-EMF to do something useful. I can see how that works.

  Mince Walsh  +Samuel Falvo II If the object you want to push or pull is conductive but not magnetic then yes, a lenz magnet can be used to push it. However, depending upon how much push you use, the object is going to get VERY hot. Lenz magnets only push non-magnetic objects with two sets of magnets 90 degrees orientation and alternating current also 90 degrees out of phase. They generate eddy currents in the object and push it. It uses a great deal of power and pushing with any reasonable amount of force would heat the object enough to cook anything inside to well done.

  Samuel Falvo II  Youtube videos show that a simple rotating B-field, roughly 25MPH, is sufficient to levitate the rotating magnet off a fixed copper plate, without excessive heat.  The faster the rotation, the greater the repulsion.  (In other words, both speed of rotation and B-field intensity determine repulsion.)  You don’t need to invest a huge amount of power or set up complicated 90-degree phasing.  All you need is low ohmic loss metals.  In the event that you have higher ohmic losses, then of course, more power will be required.  But, c’est la vie.  If you’re a metal object, and headed straight for my starship with shields down, I don’t care, you’re going to be moved out of my way.  😉

Google Plus Answers (Science Fiction Community)

  Kevin Murray  If we’re limiting the implementation of a ‘tractor beam’ to a literal beam of some form of energy used to move something, making it ‘pull’ a target would most likely be getting into the ‘hard light’ trope.  Basically, the beam would need to ‘grab’ onto the target and draw it back to the source- this would require some substance to the beam as it would need to handle the forces involved in pulling the target, like a piece of rope.

On the other hand, an energy beam used to push would not have the same constraints.  Think of lasers; they are able to ‘cut.’  Interaction between our hypothetical beam and the target could theoretically produce a significant enough impulse to cause the target to move.  Compare it to bullets- they certainly apply kinetic energy to the target, but a bullet can’t “pull” back towards the gun.

Now, if we move away from the literal beam of energy interpretation, something like gravity manipulation could, if possible, draw your target closer to you.

Ultimately though, one has to wonder about the usage scenario for it- surely a series of cables with grappling hooks could accomplish most things you would want to use a ‘pulling’ tractor beam for.  Certainly there is an issue with cables being of limited length, but keeping any kind of beam cohesive enough to function becomes increasingly difficult as distance increases as well- and this would apply to gravity manipulation as well, given that the force of gravity decreases sharply with distance…

  Francisco Esteban  Well, i think a ray is always a ejection of energy or particles, so, in that way, push will be easier than pull.

  Riley E.  The closest thing to a tractor “beam” i could think of is ionizing a target with a UV laser (without melting it (maybe with a pulsed high power laser with a spinning mirror to sweep over the whole body, like a laser printer))

This wouldn’t be really useful for anything that had its own propulsion system, without generating dangerous amounts of static electricity, or vaporizing the target. You could use it to slowly clump together some near-by asteroids and rubble, maybe.

For attraction you could just use something like a shaped, pulsed magnetic field generated by a superconductor.

As for repulsion, I’d just go for the low tech approach of firing a rocket or impulse thruster.

  Micha Fire  a tractor beam actually just holds something in place –

pulling or pushing would have to be done by some other device
or moving the whole combined field of tractor and tracted

  Winchell Chung  Science fiction writer E. E. “Doc” Smith invented the concept in the early 1930’s. Only he had “attractor” beams that pulled an object toward the projector, and “pressor” beams (or repulsors) that pushed objects away from the projector.

If you focused both an attractor and a pressor beam on an object, you would hold it rigidly in place relative to the projectors.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tractor_beam

  Winchell Chung  Real world scientists have managed to make laser beams operated like tractor beams on a microscopic scale http://physics.nyu.edu/grierlab/conveyor7c/

  Sheila Miguez  I immediately thought of push, given solar wind. But then I remembered optical tweezers.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Optical_tweezers

Google Plus Answers (Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers Community)

  Lorena Lombardo  Crap, no idea. Any engineers around? xD

  Mark Means  Maybe the pulling effect is based, in part, on gravity and they used that naturally occurring effect as a model?

  AmyBeth Inverness  Who needs a real engineer? I’ll settle for someone with plausible-sounding BS.  🙂

  Lorena Lombardo

lolz, ok so if this is correct:”…A tractor beam is a hypothetical device with the ability to attract one object to another from a distance.[1] Since the 1990s, technology and research has laboured to make it a reality, mostly at microscopic level. Less commonly, a similar beam that repels is called a pressor beam or repulsor beam. Gravity impulse and gravity propulsion beams are areas of research from fringe physics that coincide with the concepts of tractor and repulsor beams…” from Wikipedia and after some discussion with my hubby, this is what we have to offer:Accordingly to the gravitation law (Newton’s law of universal gravitation) you could create a tractor beam using a receptacle were you would then create a black hole (a micro mini one of course :P).With this in mind, the tractor beam would use the black hole’s pull over things by creating a small hole on one side of the receptacle (the receptacle would be immune to the pull by unknown means :P). Through that hole, you would be able to pull things towards the tractor beam.SO: With a scientific base, it would be much easier to create a pull tractor beam.

With negative mass, somewhat according to physics laws, you could in fact create a push (repulsive) tractor beam, of course this is PURELY THEORETICAL. Since so far, It is not possible to create negative mass. A hypothetical idea could maybe be that using a black hole with its corresponding ‘out’ hole at the end of a worm hole, you could use that back door and its pushing force that is a result of the pull from the opening of the said black hole.

Then, by creating 2 tractor beams, one with the pull end and the other with the push end, you have the two sides of the worm hole and they would ‘power up’ those tractor beams.

Of course the fact that repulsive gravity does not exist is the main issue. So for it be a scientifically based sci-fi, hence good sci-fi (says someone on my back :P), there would only be pull tractor beam.

sigh hope this is good 🙂 I have to admit, my husband googled all of the info necessary for this answer. When I asked him about the sci fi question he really got it going to answer me basing it in real scientific research.

Google Plus Answers (Sci-FI Community)

  Vishwas Shrikhande  nice question, will try to find the answer

  Peter Edenist  There was an article on tractor beams in New Scientist.  I Should reference that.

  Half-Life  Stand back, my main man is a physicist and from experience I can tell you that a weapon such as the zero-point energy field manipulator or ” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gravity_gun ” has a lot more trouble pulling things compared to pushing them away. The ZPEFM generates an intense gravitational well by calling massive particles into existence from the vacuum. Secret technology developed by Eli Vance allows it to precisely direct these gravitational fields into a narrow cone which allows the user to escape its influence as long as he doesn’t point it at himself. Now gravity’s intensity follows an inverse-square law so the further you get from the well the less pull you experience, get too far and the ZPEFM will not be able to pull you toward its well. Pushing is done by “reversing the well” which is done through the use of exotic matter which has negative or so called anti gravity. This process is much more energy intensive so I would guess that pulling things will be easier than pushing them. 😉

On a serious note; optical tweezers are all the rage among the kids these days and these work with them fancy photons and make use of the electromagnetic fields to impart momentum on whatever it is that you want to move and thus work over much greater distance as they are dependant on the amount of energy you can pump into your laser. Remarkably these can pull just as well as they can push but so far only work on really tiny scales. http://www.opticsinfobase.org/oe/abstract.cfm?uri=oe-18-7-6988

  Peter Edenist  +Half-Life has it 🙂

  Abrak Jamson  It’s easy to push objects (throw things at it until it moves). We have that technology now, although doing so with photons would vaporize it long before it moved very far. We’re also quite short on power; we’d need a few suns worth.

Anyway, it’s harder to pull them. Aside from the optical tweezers mentioned above, we don’t know how to do this.

  Joshwa Pohlmann  super magnet with light effects

SciFi Q of the DayI would love to hear what you think! Even if you are reading this post a year or more after publishing, I hope you will leave a comment with your own ideas on this topic.

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Luxury

Posted on December 7, 2012 by AmyBeth Inverness

Birthday ProfileI have the luxury of being financially able to stay at home to raise our kids. In fact, I recently turned down an offer to return to my old teaching position because the part time didn’t mesh with the kids’ school schedules, and the pay didn’t justify the daycare.

Don’t let my use of the word “luxury” fool you. I have the luxury of choice; many families do not. In some families, both parents must work in order to make ends meet. In some families, a parent must stay home because of their family’s unique needs.

Even with my luxury there’s still plenty of work involved, as well as some creative financial juggling that makes this possible.

A couple of years ago I decided to add to my workload. I decided to get serious about my writing, with the goal of having a career as a published author. Of course what I really wanted was for a major publisher to take my story and run it straight up the bestseller list.  However I do have at least my own fair share of common sense, and I knew this was a fairytale.

So I researched what to do. There was no “How To” list; I had to figure it out for myself. I found an agent I liked and read the advice on her agency’s website. I increased my web presence. I decided I would use a pseudonym (my real last name is Fredricksen… Inverness is a city on Loch Ness in Scotland) and started this blog.

That’s just the tip of the iceberg. I wrote…a lot! Several complete novels and numerous short stories. I nurtured relationships with other writers. I found writing groups to link up with both on the internet and in person. I commented on other blogs. I beta read for other authors. I spent a year proofreading male-male erotica. I discovered ways to interact with potential and existing fans.

All that work, and no monetary compensation.

Yet…

No, there is not a touch of bitterness there! I’m so very happy… I have one story in an anthology that came out a month ago, and another story in a different anthology coming out next week. I’m gaining followers on a number of social media sites. I have an official published author page at Goodreads. I have three more stories that may be in anthologies in the coming year. I have an editor expressing interest in my WIP. Great and wondrous things are happening!

My story is "Abandon" about a woman with a unique approach to dealing with her personal challenges.

My story “Abandon” is about a woman with a unique approach to dealing with her personal challenges. (Women’s Fiction)

My story "In the Closet" tells how one woman deals with the frustration of an anniversary dinner cut short. (Erotica/soft SciFi)

My story “In the Closet” tells how one woman deals with the frustration of an anniversary dinner cut short. (Erotica/soft SciFi)

Every once in a while, I bump into another aspiring writer who asks me for advice. Sometimes, when I start into the “First, establish a web presence…it doesn’t have to be a blog…” they interrupt me and say “No, no, I don’t want to do all that. I just want to skip to the part where I get published.”

#Headdesk

If they really do believe the fairytale, no amount of advice is going to help them. They will have to figure it out for themselves.

Through my connections, I receive a lot of solicitations of one kind or another. Some want to help me market my book, some want to facilitate self-publishing (not for me) and of course, other authors want me to buy their books. I do my fair share of solicitations as well; I ask for votes when I have something in a contest, and I want people to read and comment on my blog.

Published authors realize the hard truth that they can not possibly purchase and read every book every one of their peers and friends put out. Some try. Some might even come close. But although there is a noteworthy level of cooperation among writers (I’ve found this especially true in the romance world) we do not expect all of our friends and peers to purchase our work. We love them anyway. We support them in other ways.

I’ve witnessed a few particularly bad examples lately. Google Plus introduced communities (another variation on groups) and one writer I’d never heard of invited me to join the community he created to discuss his books. Several authors in a contest I’d entered, when asked to post “why should I win” actually bashed other authors instead of tooting their own horn.

The winning prize goes to an author who instigated a kickstarter campaign for a scientific project. He has the credentials and intelligence to make this project a huge success. But his campaign consisted mostly of pleading “Why aren’t more friends pledging? What’s wrong with you people!”

Today, he discovered that he did not meet his goal. This was his response:

Today is the 40th anniversary of the last time humans will ever embark on a mission to another world. Never again will astronauts walk on the moon, or venture on to Mars, or any other place. Why? Because you all suck and didn’t get me to my funding goal. It’s your fault the future sucks so much.

Ouch. Bitter grapes are hard to swallow, and difficult to live down. Also, once it’s on the internet, there’s no taking it back.

Then again, maybe you can take it back. Or, at least, you can acknowledge what you did wrong and apologize. A highly successful author recently posted a Mea Culpa on her blog less than a day after she tweeted something bad about a reviewer. It was a brief, sincere, and public apology. That’s what the pros do. They are just as prone to making mistakes as any of us. The pros realize it, admit it, and do something about it.

I’m working. Hard. The reason I’m working so hard is that I want to have a career as a writer. In these early days, it is important to lay the foundation for what I hope to accomplish.

Doing this work does not mean I will be successful.

Not doing this work guarantees I will never succeed.

Posted in Commentary & Musing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Interview With Victoria Kirichok-Pratt

Posted on December 6, 2012 by AmyBeth Inverness

Victoria KP Pic  My name is Victoria. I am the mother of very imaginative and active eight and ten-year-old boys, the wife of a very patient man, a soccer mom, a furniture sales person, a writer, a performance junkie, a drama instructor, a Cub Scout den leader, a theatrical director, a lover of fine food and drink, a (sometimes) exercise enthusiast, an avid reader of fine literature, semi-trashy novels, magazines and other people’s blogs. I am usually in desperate need of a nap or at least a cup of coffee.

1. How long has your blog been Thirty-Nine For the First Time?

I published my first post on “Thirty-Nine For the First Time” in September of 2010. I had just turned 39 and thought it would be fun to chronicle my journey into my 40’s.  I also thought starting a blog would give me a reason to sit down and write regularly. When I turned 40 I thought about changing the name —“Thirty-nine for the second time”, “39 or So”. But a friend suggested I write “Established 2010” under the header.  I thought it was a great idea. So even though I’ve been thirty-nine a couple of times now, the blog is still “Thirty-Nine For the First Time”.

2. How many times have you done NaNoWriMo?

Just once. Last year I managed to bang out my 50k words about my character Michaela. I’m hoping to shape it into something readable—that’s the main reason I didn’t participate in NaNoWriMo this year. I’ll definitely do it again, but there was no way I could make it happen this year. Editing a novel makes writing one seem easy by comparison! What a mess!

3. How long have you been linking up with Write On Edge?

I began linking up with Write On Edge’s weekly link up a few months after I started blogging. It introduced me to some fantastic writers. Then I began  participating  in the writing prompts. It was the first time I ever attempted any fiction writing. I was nervous to post at first. But I was blown away by the supportive nature of the group. I was touched to see how often a talented (and widely followed) writer would take the time to read and comment on my writing.

4. How long have you been writing?

I was an English Major in college. But I never did any writing that wasn’t an “assignment” until I was in my 30’s. I started a dozen journals in my teens and twenties, but never stuck with it. In the spring of 2010 I was desperate for a creative outlet. Between parenting and working retail, I felt like my brain wasn’t getting the work out it needed. So I signed up for an on-line writing course through a local college. It was just the kick in the behind I needed. I haven’t missed more than a couple of days writing since. I almost always have a notebook with me in case I find a few minutes.

5. What are you currently writing?

At the moment, I’m just writing to keep up with my blog. I’m involved in a play so it’s taking up a lot of my attention.

6. What play are you currently doing and what part are you playing?

I’m directing a production of “Moon Over Buffalo” for a group called The Milton Players.  It’s a farce about a company of traveling actors by Ken Ludwig who wrote “Lend Me  Tenor”. We just began rehearsals last week. The cast is fantastic—a great combination of talent and positive attitudes. Directing is my favorite thing to do in the theatre. Acting is wonderful, but as a director I get to have my hands on all aspects of a production. It appeals to my inner control freak.

Precipice-Cover-Final7. You have two pieces in Precipice: The Literary Anthology of Write on Edge. Did you write them before or after you heard the call for submissions?

I had written earlier versions of both pieces before I heard the call for submissions. The memoir piece is pretty close to the original version—with just a few changes. My fiction piece, “Heading South, Going Nowhere”, however, is significantly longer and more developed than the original.

8. What does being in this anthology mean to you as a writer?

There is a feeling of legitimacy that comes from someone saying, “This is good enough to print and sell.” I feel like I can say, “I’m a writer” and no one will pop up and yell, “faker!”  I feel honored to be in the company of such talented writers.

9. Do you prefer to write memoir or fiction?

It’s hard to say. I feel like I’m better at memoir. I’m good at capturing the way I felt during my experiences and making them relatable. But I’ve found fiction to be very gratifying and just plain fun. My character Karen, who has her own page on my blog, has been particularly enjoyable.

Victoria on stage in "The Odd Couple"

Victoria on stage in “The Odd Couple”

10. Have you ever written a script?

Apart from a college playwriting class, I’ve never written for the stage. Now that you asked it seems awfully strange that I haven’t. I really ought to put that on my “to do” list.

11. What are your career goals as a writer?

I want to be able to quit my “day job” and focus on the creative side of my life. I don’t need to be a New York Times best selling author, just earn as much as I do at my part-time job. Of course, if I could become the primary breadwinner of the family because I sold so many books, that would be a dream come true.

12.  Are you a blogger who writes, or a writer who blogs?

At the risk of sounding like a snob, I’m a writer who blogs. If you had asked me that two years ago, I would have said the opposite. I’m writing a lot more now and I’m writing things other than the blog. If I miss a day or two I just don’t feel right.

13. What is your favorite electronic or digital writing tool?

I use an old MacBook. I’m experimenting with software right now. The latest version of Word doesn’t like my aging computer so I’m playing with NeoOffice (which is free) and Scrivener.

14. What is your favorite non-electronic writing tool?

Walking. I get my best ideas when my body is engaged, but my mind is free to wander. Folding laundry also works, but it isn’t as pleasant.

Victoria KP family15. What is the most persistent distraction from writing?

That’s hard to say. I have part-time job, two kids, a husband, a large extended family, a home, a cat, and an addiction to community theatre to fit into my schedule. You could just as easily say that writing distracts me from the other parts of my life. All those parts of my life are important, it’s a matter of making time for each of them… who am I kidding? Facebook and blog reading are my biggest distractions.

16. Many writers go through a stage when they hate what they’re writing. Do you ever feel this way?

Honestly, no. But then, I’ve never relied on writing to pay the mortgage or feed my family. It has always been something I wanted to do, rather than something I had to do. So if I were writing something I hated, I’d probably just put it aside. I can imagine feeling differently if I were under deadline to finish something. On the other hand, I’ve written plenty of things I wasn’t too crazy about when they were finished!

17. What is your ideal writing environment? Have you ever been able to create it?

My ideal writing environment would happen first thing in the morning with a visit from the coffee fairy. She would supply me with that magical elixir before I even got out of bed. Afterwards I would have hours of quiet time in a pristine room with lots of natural light and no interruptions.

In the real world, I usually manage 20 or 30 minutes of uninterrupted time in the morning over a cup of coffee on a very messy desk. Fortunately, my husband gets up before I do, so the coffee is usually made  by the time I drag myself out of bed.

Victoria KP desk18. What social media do you use? Do you use them solely for promotion, or do you have fun?

I’ve been on Facebook with family and friends for a long time. I don’t have an “author” page. Everyone I’m friends with is someone I know in real life or have made a real connection with in the blogging community. I’m also on Twitter, but I haven’t quite gotten the hang of it. I mostly use it for promotion, but I do have some fun moments as well.

Victoria Underoos19. If you found adult sized Wonder Woman Underoos, would you buy them?

Yes. Absolutely. Do you know where I can get some? One of my first and favorite blog posts was about my son outgrowing his beloved Star Wars underwear. I adored dressing up in any way as a kid, but never managed to get my hands on a pair of Underoos. Either my mother was too frugal, or she was afraid I’d never take them off.

20. Who shot first, Han or Greedo?

Han shot first. Why does Mr. Lucas keep messing with his original stuff? People are seldom all good or all bad. And fictional characters who are, are boring! Han totally gets away with saying, “I know” when Leia says, “I love you” because he IS a scoundrel and that’s why we (and Her Worshipfulness) love him. So he isn’t above shooting first if he thinks it’s necessary.

Posted in Interviews | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

On Fire!

Posted on December 5, 2012 by AmyBeth Inverness

ROW80LogocopyOK, so I completely bombed NaNoWriMo this year. I have accepted that in a zen kind of way. And this past week of writing has been incredible, even though none of it has been on my WIP.

I have two short stories out in anthologies this year. One came out around Halloween, the other is due out 12-12-12. (It’s 1:30 in the morning… I’m not adding any more details, but I’ve talked about them both on the blog numerous times and it’s not hard to find out more if you wanna…)

I’ve been tempted by not just one, but three more anthologies. Part of the fun is that they’re quirky (more on that later) and they’re also SHORT. Just a few thousand words, and POOF I’m done! Well, then I revise, but yeah, basically I’m done. And it feels so good!

And in writing for these anthologies, I’ve got my mojo back. I really can feel bogged down when I’m novel-writing. I feel like I can’t hold the whole story in my head, and I can’t see the forest for the trees. But now I’ve had many days of well over 2k, and my writing muscles are hot and ready.

I’ll give more details later when it’s not the wee hours of the morning, and when I have something more definite to report about my submissions!

Posted in NaNoWriMo, ROW80, Writing | Tagged | 1 Comment

SciFi Q of the Day: Views from Io

Posted on December 3, 2012 by AmyBeth Inverness

converted PNM fileSciFi Question of the Day: If the space station is in orbit around Io, what would its views be like? What might be notable about that particular area of the solar system?

Facebook Answers

  Daniel Beard Let me see, it is in orbit (I am assuming a geostationary orbit, as opposed to a L-point) around a moon that likes to spray sulfur out of volcanoes, which is itself in orbit about the second largest body in our solar system (Jupiter, not Saturn), tidally locked, and with a orbital period of 42.5 hours (Damn, that’s quick). therefore Jupiter would always be in the same place in the sky, but you would be seeing pretty much the whole thing about every 2 Terran days.

  AmyBeth Fredricksen How much of the “sky” does Jupiter take up? Is it overwhelming? Or a round disk in the distance?

  Daniel Beard well, Io is about the same orbital distance (within about 10%) with Jupiter as the moon is to earth, and Jupiter is FRIGGING MASSIVE, so I am going with a commanding view of about one third of the sky.

  AmyBeth Fredricksen Thank you!

  AmyBeth Fredricksen I’ve seen videos of Jupiter’s surface moving and swirling. It that time-lapsed or would it visible to the naked eye?

  Daniel Beard I just would not like to be there looking at it. the radiation levels at Io are about 3600 rem’s per day. If I am reading the tables right, that is just over 3 times the guaranteed terminal dosage. would NOT want to be there.

  AmyBeth Fredricksen So my space station needs to have some really advanced shielding, and so do any vessels coming and going…

  Daniel Beard well, you have see photos of earth from the moon, Jupiter is 11,200 times larger. probably would be able to see the cloud cover move from the station.

Google Plus Answers  

  Laura Klein  Hmmm… thinking about the odd orbit of Io, and isn’t that the moon that has all kinds of crazy gravitational pulls churning the whole moon into a high volcano zone?  I would think Jupiter would take up the sky sometimes, and some of the other moons would be visible some of the time… and I’ll bet it would be a bumpy ride.

  AmyBeth Inverness  Not sure about gravity (other than it’s like a tenth of Earth) but it is very volcanic.

  Laura Klein  OK, found a NASA fact sheet… http://solarsystem.nasa.gov/planets/profile.cfm?Object=Jup_Io

  • So, if Io is the size of the earth’s moon, but only a fifth the distance of our moon from the Earth, I would imagine Jupiter would take up a large chunk of the sky.

    Ooh, that site is interesting.

    “Io’s orbit, keeping it at more or less a cozy 422,000 km (262,000 miles) from Jupiter, cuts across the planet’s powerful magnetic lines of force, thus turning Io into a electric generator. Io can develop 400,000 volts across itself and create an electric current of 3 million amperes. This current takes the path of least resistance along Jupiter’s magnetic field lines to the planet’s surface, creating lightning in Jupiter’s upper atmosphere.”

    Eletricity everywhere!  And matter leaking off the planet to Jupiter.

      AmyBeth Inverness  Ooh! Great info! Thanks!

      Laura Klein  … and now instead of writing about Mars (my current project), I am looking at Jupiter’s moons.  (Not a bad thing).
      AmyBeth Inverness  I’ve also been playing with the Greek mythology around the moons. That’s why the space station is called “The Gadfly”
      Laura Klein  I like it!  I take it the researchers are doing something a little different than the norm?

    Oh, you probably saw this, but I was looking at images of Io.  http://solarsystem.nasa.gov/multimedia/gallery.cfm?&Category=Planets&Object=Jup_Io&Page=1

      AmyBeth Inverness  Ooh! Purdy!
      Mince Walsh  I would think that the view of Jupiter would be daunting since it would fill the sky. Also the elipse of the orbit would be severely exaggerated due to the planetary pull. Your perspectives would be all whacked out depending on your position in orbit and sense of gravitational pull could vary slightly. It might take a bit of getting used to and some may have trouble with it. Now, the effect on a werewolf?

      AmyBeth Inverness  Werewolves? Hmmm…  good question… and believe it or not, the space station is inhabited by polyamorous zombies…

    I’ve seen videos of Jupiter’s surface moving and swirling. It that time-lapsed or would it visible to the naked eye?
      Keith J Davies  um… if you have remarkably sharp eyes, perhaps.  You mean through a telescope without other help?
      Charles Moore  Time lapsed. It moves fast, but Jupiter’s huge so it looks slow due to the scale.
      AmyBeth Inverness  Oops… sorry… this is a continuation of a previous question. In the story, there’s a space station orbiting Io.
      Laura Klein  That’s a good question… my first thought is that it would move as fast as Earth storms from above, but maybe not.  Hmm… back to NASA.  🙂
      Keith J Davies  or possibly faster.  Winds on the gas giants are, I understand, extremely fast.
      AmyBeth Inverness  Shoot. I need +michael interbartolo for this one.
      michael interbartolo  back in 2010 it was pretty close and The view through a telescope was excellent. Because Jupiter is so close, the planet’s disk can be seen in rare detail–and there is a lot to see. For instance, the Great Red Spot, a cyclone twice as wide as Earth, is bumping up against another storm called “Red Spot Jr.” The apparition of two planet-sized tempests grinding against one another must be seen to be believed. http://science.nasa.gov/science-news/science-at-nasa/2010/15sep_jupiter/
      Laura Klein  I think one of those little black spots is Io passing by.
      Laura Klein  My thought: The bigger storms would not appear to move very fast, but some of the smaller eddies might be visible as moving and changing from the perspective of Io… plus, Io’s orbit around Jupiter is only like, 42 hours.
    That moon is flying.

    SciFi Q of the Day

    I would love to hear what you think! Even if you are reading this post a year or more after publishing, I hope you will leave a comment with your own ideas on this topic.
Posted in SciFi Q of the Day | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Interview With Jessie Powell

Posted on November 29, 2012 by AmyBeth Inverness

I’m Jessie Powell, a 35 year old author whose book Divorce: A Love Story was published by Throwaway Lines in November of 2011. I believe in true love, blunt honesty, and chocolate. I’m married to Scott, and we have two children, Caroline and Sam. I started this adventure when I was trying to win the chance to speak in Neil Gaiman’s American Gods tenth anniversary audiobook. I didn’t win, but it was a truly awesome experience, and I think the woman who did win was a really talented speaker. The blog has become an end of its own, and I love to hear comments there, and in:

1.       How did you attain the title “The Jester Queen?”

This has a multipart answer. When I was seventeen, I wrote a story called The Jester King which featured a king going around disguised as his court jester. He wound up in a duel with the pirate king. I was scrambling for a Halloween costume that year, and so I went as the Gypsy Pirate Jester Queen. (I threw the gypsy in there for laughs, because the costume was such a complete cobbled-together-mess.) Halloween is the only nationally significant holiday I enjoy. So there was no question of skipping trick or treat. But I got stuck on that one costume, and I have worn it every year since, cobbling on more details as I found them. (I turned 35 this year, and yes, I have gone trick or treating every year since. I have begged and borrowed children to come with me, and when I couldn’t find any, I have walked around giving out candy so I could go door to door in a costume without getting raised eyebrows. Oddly, I’ve never attended a convention that involved cosplay. I need to remedy that.)

When I was twenty two, I met and started dating this guy whose last name was Merriman. Yes, the name derives from the moniker for court jesters. Then I married him. So I made my Halloween costume come true. (No gypsies or pirates yet, but I’ll keep you posted.) And I love the identity of ‘jester queen’. It fits me perfectly. Keep in mind that the jester wasn’t just the funnyman in medieval times. He was the guy most able to tell the king the truth without getting strung up by the toenails. I’m funny, yes, but I’m also blunt, and it’s a trait that seems to catch people off guard when they first meet me.

2.       Who is the King?

That would be my poor husband Scott, he of the last name Merriman. He is, by the way, the first guy I ever dated. I was such a total nerd. I had all these relationships in my head, but I had no intentions of ever marrying or even going out. I deliberately developed crushes on guys who were unattainable. I’d watched my parents emotionally abuse each other my whole life. They never got physical, but I thought, “Jesus, if that’s love, I’m not buying.” So I had outrageously high standards, and nobody I met could approach them.  And then I met Scott. I think I believed he was in the unattainable category, which meant that when my office mate realized I was interested and gave me the perfect pick up line, I had no trouble delivering it. When he accepted, I had to make her come on our date because I’d never been on one before. She left midway through once she was sure we were fine.  And he was a feminist and intellectual who laughed at the same things I did and pretended like I hadn’t just brought along my friend to chaperone. I knew within a date that we’d get married, though I hid from that certainty for the better part of two years.

3.       Who is Madame Syntax?

Alter Ego. Basically, I have three personalities, but to keep from scaring people, I call them my alter egos. (OK, they are alter egos. Seriously, I have complete control of the body. Mostly.)  Anyway, she’s the maniac who loves library cataloging and perfect grammar. I put her in charge of my work when I was a cataloger, and I turn her on when I’m line editing. To be perfectly honest, she isn’t very thorough, but don’t let her hear you say that.

4.       If a magic genie granted you the power to correct the spelling and grammar of everyone on the internet, would you do it?

Nope. Just certain things. Like “lay/lie”. That one bugs all three of my personalities. But mostly, people’s grammatical foibles delight me, especially if they reveal something linguistic. There are two sides to the study of the English language, and I have been cursed with an enjoyment of both. Linguists don’t have problems with ‘bad’ grammar, as it is typically indicative of language shifts, which are inevitable. They instead study those changes for fun. English teachers get all huffy about grammar and syntax. I do both.

5.       Does The Bitch Who Lives in Your Head have anything in common with Brad Pitt’s character in Fight Club?

I’d never seen the movie when she erupted, but yes, when I eventually did, I saw parallels. She doesn’t make me blow up buildings. Whew. But when she gets an idea stuck in her craw, I can’t do anything but go with it. She wanted to nurse Caroline. I did NOT. I wanted my body back. I had post partum issues that went a lot deeper than depression. And nursing was physically painful and extremely difficult for Caroline, who never learned to latch. But The Bitch was clear. We would nurse, or She would quit my job for me. The things she makes me do seem to be things that are good for my family, like nursing the baby and not-quitting my job; and things that are good for me, like writing, but God help me if I ever think otherwise, because I’m not sure I can act against her.

6.       There’s a theory out there that all writers, indeed all those who need to do something creative full-time, are at least a little mentally ill. Do you think that’s true?

I’m bipolar. And I think that’s dumb. Writers and creative types get press for it because it’s a little hard to understand how we tick anyway, so as soon as somebody finds something resembling a common thread, they just go all crazy making assumptions. “Where do you get your stories” has a built in answer if people think it’s “from my crazy”. While mental illness may help SOME people create art, it inhibits me. When my bipolar is winning, I cannot write. At all. I went through a period of about four years from early in grad school and until Caroline was born, when The Bitch said We Would Be Taking Zoloft From Now On Because The Doctor Said So, when I was not a writer.

7.       When your daughter was being evaluated for special needs, did anyone tell you “Girls don’t have Aspergers?”

Mercifully, no. Some family members were in complete denial about  her specifically having it, but Scott and I come from intellectual tribes. They read up and knew that it affects both genders. And we have been … I’m not religious, but the correct word here is blessed … with professionals who recognized her symptoms. Indeed, Caroline’s symptoms are so classic that while I got quite a lot of “I would never have known she had autism” or “she doesn’t look autistic” (as if there is an autistic ‘look’), everybody who knew anything about it knew she had it.

8.       Why are you the only one who looks neurotypical Sprocketink crew page?

It’s meant to be a funny question, but I haven’t got a funny answer. There isn’t an ‘autistic’ look. I adore the goofball profile pics of the other crew members, who are embodying the humor and snark in their pictures. But no, those things don’t look autistic any more than this does…


Or this…

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9.       What is  Studio30 Plus and how did you become involved with them?

Studio 30 Plus is a social media website aimed at writers and bloggers. You don’t have to be over 30. You just have to be cool with those of us who are. Our members submit guest posts to be featured in the community blog, and they can submit a link to a blog post of their own every week and the site owner Kelly Sajonia of Naked Girl in a Dress features them in a weekly spotlight. We also feature a different member every week, and I get to do the write-up for that. It’s a growing community with a lot to offer in terms of networking and support. I got involved because, as I’m sure you’re familiar with from working at Write on Edge, volunteer based organizations have a revolving cast of helpers. It’s difficult to sustain a commitment to a group when work and family are all placing demands on your time, and the person who did the write-ups stepped down. Kelly posted a call for help and I jumped at the chance to become more involved with one of my favorite groups.

10.   What is the Trifecta Writing Challenge and how did you become involved with them?

Trifecta is a twice weekly writing linkup that focuses on the number three. Every Monday, editors Lisa Harvey Empty The Well and Joules Freiboth Lucid Lotus Life pick a new word. Everyone writes a story of between 33 and 333 words using the third definition of the chosen word. On the weekends, they issue some kind of zany challenge, often only requiring 33 words of text. I’ve been involved with them in a sort of side role, giving detailed critiques to people who submit stories. That’s winding down for now, though it may launch anew sometime next year.

11.   What was the path to publication for Divorce: A Love Story?

In 2010, I’d been writing this manuscript for about five years, and I had the first fifty pages finished, solid. The rest of the book was drafted and outlined but not really complete. A friend of a friend got together with somebody in England and started a press. I felt like this might be my best shot to connect with a publisher who didn’t expect me to pay to go to work. (This will be my career. I will never pay to do my job. I will be paid.) I sent the pages off, and the editor wanted the rest. Which didn’t exist except in rudimentary form. So I scrambled and finished the book in three months, and then the press fell apart. But it re-formed last year as Throwaway Lines, and mine was one of the first ebooks released. Hopefully, we’re going to get a paperback version out there soon.

12.   What was it like to work with a micro press?

There are pros and cons. The pros for me are that I didn’t pay to publish my work and I was able to get my first novel published. Those are both big deals for me. I will write for a living one day. One day soon, as the matter of fact. And to commit to that, I have to commit to some pretty stringent requirements, the first of which is that I’m not advancing my career on my own dime. My family needs my income too much for me to waste money on something that should be earning it. And yes, self-publishing would be a waste for me. (I acknowledge the arrogance of that attitude.) I lack the marketing ability to push my little short story in this America’s Next Author contest, let alone the savvy to market a book. I suck hard at sales. I would not earn a penny.

However, it’s difficult to get picked up by a major press, and it would have been unrealistic to expect a major press to pick up my first novel. A micro press was the perfect middle point between the two extremes. A first novel always has more hitches and bumps, I don’t care how professional you are or how long you spent writing it. I was (and am) flatly unwilling to pay for an editor. I will get paid to do my job; they will get paid to do their jobs on the same basis I do, the book’s success. It would have been unfair to set that standard for an editor I hired who had no other possible source of income from my work. But it’s the appropriate standard for an editor attached to a press. Also, any editor I hired would only have been accountable to me. So they would only have needed to edit the piece to my standards, which are high, but are only mine. But Jason Horger is both an editor and one of the press’s owners. He is motivated by his own standards which are quite a bit different than mine, and his financial motivation has nothing to do with whether or not he pisses me off. If I had been paying him, he would not have been as free to impose his standards on my writing, and I would not have been as compelled to either justify my decisions or make changes. Writing is a collaborative process, and having to make changes to match your editor’s needs is necessary and important to a work’s growth.

That said, there are cons. One of the biggest ones is that I still am responsible for a lot of my own marketing, and guess what? I still suck. I’m not an attention whore, and you have to be willing to do a bit of prostitution to sell a piece. I’m arrogant, but I don’t like to look at my own arrogance smack in the face. (And yes, going around saying “here, buy my book” feels arrogant to me in a way that snobbishly refusing to self publish does not.) Another is that the press is precarious. It could collapse at any time, and it did so once in the middle there. Finally, the road from e-book to paperback is hard won. The press has to be able to afford it. And that’s coming. Slowly. For me, paperback will feel real. That will be something I can actually advance. I can walk into the Montgomery Public Library and say “buy my book”. I can go to this bookstore that helps Alabama writers find an audience and say “put me in the hat”. I can’t do those things with an e-book. It will still feel arrogant, but I’ll have a tangible product attached to my attitude.

13.   How long have you been linking up with Write On Edge?

A little over a year. This was actually the second writing meme I found ever. I started my blog in April of 2011, but it was October before I figured out that blog hops and linkups and writing memes are the only way to acquire readers.

14.   Did you write Shallow Grave before or after hearing the call for submissions to Precipice?

Both. It was initially written for two separate writing challenges, a Trifecta piece and one from the now defunct IndieInk. The two pieces always went together, but it required a bit of rewriting to make them work well. So I would say the new piece (Frankenpiece) is really a distinct piece of writing.

15.   What have you done to promote your entry in the America’s Next Author contest?

Ugh. Not enough. Oooh looky, here’s my link. http://www.ebookmall.com/author/jester-queen I am so ambivalent about it. I hate contests. I hate competition. I want everybody to win always, especially my friends. And if I lose, that means I didn’t win, and if I win that means somebody else lost. I hate both emotions. Winning makes me sick, not high. I feel like the implication of such contests is that there are only a certain number of good writers out there. And assigning a ‘winner’ at this level of writing is like assigning a ‘winner’ in pizza decorating. It’s so subjective, and it depends on what toppings you like. We’re not talking about the National Book Award or the Pulitzer Prize here. Nor are the standards all related to writing. Sure, those cause controversy, but there is a clear standard, and the subjectivity factor is minimized. When the stakes are low like they are atTrifecta, I can manage that tension. But when the stakes are high, I freak out. The stories in this competition are drastically unlike each other. Look at mine and yours and Cam’s. Mine is a short story about a spunky thief who has to deal with her own nature. Yours is about a woman battling a major illness while she celebrates and comes to terms with the true meaning of her plural marriage. Cam’s is a love story, an epic romance with heartbroken lovers who have to fight for their love. Those three things have no common denominators to form a basis for comparison. If you don’t like fantasy, mine’s out. If the edgy topic of plural marriage freaks you out, yours is out. If you dislike the third person omniscient point of view or romance in general, Cam’s is out. So there’s that.

And then there’s the whole self-promotion is arrogant thing. I hate vote whoring. Hate it. My blog started because I couldn’t manage the anxiety of a contest I knew I was destined to lose. Popularity contests really upset me more than others because I was bullied as a kid, and I have a hard time asking for favors. Voting has nothing to do with skill, or very little. What my supporters are really saying is “I like you, Jessie”. I don’t need a vote to know they like me. But I have to ask them to vote if I want to win. To waste a favor on a writing contest where the REAL beneficiary is ebookmall, which gets tons of hits every day now for voting, smacks me wrong.

There’s this one woman who is getting her seventh graders to vote for and rank her. They put things like “We should go outside on Friday” in their comments. That’s unethical. It’s flatly unethical. And yet it kept her consistently in a top spot for several weeks, which meant there was one fewer honest entry for the judges to evaluate. (They don’t say, but my opinion is that other than the wildcards, they only ever look at the top ten.) One of her students came into my piece and ranked me down with a low star comment and I had to get ebook mall to remove the comment from my page. (I think that it happened more times than they could verify with IP addresses, and that the number of people VOTING against me just to support her was higher than the number commenting against me.) I don’t mind a low star review from an honest reader who didn’t like the piece. But this was clearly people just voting against me. Which infuriates me. The Ebookmall people feel like they have a solid algorithm to manage that kind of behavior, and I am willing to trust them on that. But the very fact that the behavior is taking place is nauseating to me. (Literally. I spent a weekend throwing up over this contest.) Competition brings out the worst in people, and at this level, we need to be out there gunning for each other, supporting our fellow writers who are all trying to get a foothold. It’s not like there are a limited number of people who can be published. That’s why I hawk my friends’ work as hard as my own. We’re all good. We all deserve recognition.

But I do want to succeed. If I’m going to attract the attention of a major press, I need to be out there, and participating in competitions is important. I submit to magazine based contests, and in 1998, I actually won a prize for my play The Nature of God from the National Society of Arts and Letters Ohio River Valley Branch. (Unpublished and unlikely to be published.) But I feel more comfortable with that type of judging. If I lose out there, it’s because someone was sincerely a better writer, or their writing appealed more to a professional. If I lose out here, it’s because not enough people liked me or I didn’t do enough things to make my work look pretty. Which upsets me profoundly.

16.   What is your favorite electronic or digital writing tool?

Besides Microsoft Word and word processing software in general? I don’t know that I have one. I’ve looked into Scrivener, but I don’t see the benefit for my work. It’s expensive and hard to manage when I can create confusing folders and complicated organizational schemes on my own, thanks to Madame Syntax. Possibly my blog, as it gives me a good drawing board on which to create characters.

17.   What is your favorite non-electronic writing tool?

I’m an office supply junkie. There’s a particular brand of pen I love, but I can’t find any at the moment. I believe it’s called Scripto fine point uniball or something like that. It feels so smooth to scrawl something with that.

18.   What is the most persistent distraction from writing?

My children and my job. Both of those demand a lot of my time. And beyond that, the business of ‘working’ my writing, the memes, the volunteering, and the social media time, all of those things are important tools towards success, but they are also distracting from the writing itself.

19.   How difficult was it for you to answer all these questions without cussing?

Actually, not very. None of these just begged for an F-bomb. Well, OK, a couple of times. But you introduced ‘bitch’, making it fair game, and I didn’t absolutely need the word I wanted in front of arrogant. Some things in life absolutely cry out for swears, and it drives me completely and totally berserk that people hide behind a 50 years outmoded thinking model about cursing. I mean, the president of our children’s parents’ association bought me Adam Mansbach’s classic bedtime story because my potty mouth runs away with every PA meeting I attend. And I heard Scott reading it to Sam the other night trying valiantly to avoid curses. And after the fourth time that Scott said “Go the F to sleep,” Sam pointed out, “You know, Mom just says the word, Dad. It’s a lot easier.” And Scott later said, “You know, you were never supposed to read that to an actual kid.” Which I knew, but just didn’t care about. My kids hear me curse all the time, and I’m teaching them to swear responsibly.

20.   Who shot first, Han or Greedo?

Han. It was Han. I hate the remastered Star Wars. (I also loathe episodes I, II, and III). Lucas really needed to stop while he was ahead, and he has so utterly screwed his own dream that I think that DISNEY can do it better, which is sad, sad commentary. Star Wars was classic NOT because of the special effects, but because of the acting. The combination of new faces and Shakespearean trained actors made the bad lines gel into perfection. Lucas missed the point recasting Han as a good guy. He’s not. He’s a smuggler out for his own good when the story starts. He didn’t rob Jabba to feed the widows and orphans with Chewbacca. He either gambled himself into debt or spent Jabba’s money in gambling, and Jabba is hot on his tail. He knows perfectly well that Greedo isn’t going to kill him. It’s irrational for Greedo to try to do it, if you think about the effort that Bobba Fett goes to in preserving the guy in carbonite to deliver him alive as a wall ornament in Empire Strikes Back. Greedo wants to overpower him and take him alive. Han knows the only way to get the upper hand is to shoot first and save himself.  It’s the same principal behind his shooting out the communications center in the prison block on the Death Star later in the film and condensing a potential time-buying conversation with the head honchos to “Luke, we’re going to have company”. He’s headstrong and impulsive, and he would never have given Greedo the chance to shoot first. Not in a thousand years. He knows he can’t talk his way out of a negotiation, and part of his character growth is his ability in Return of the Jedi to throw away his blaster to save his friends, which the Han of A New Hope could never have done.

And now, a little shameless self promotion! And cross promotion, for both of us…

Precipice, the literary anthology of Write on Edge showcases twenty-one short stories and essays by seventeen members of the Write on Edge community.

This book, available in paperback and electronic format, includes Jessie’s story Shallow Grave and AmyBeth’s story Abandon.

♥

Both of us also have stories in the America’s Next Author contest. There are only a few days left, and we would both appreciate clicks, votes, and reviews. Voting is simple, and only takes a click on the “VOTE” button on the entrant’s page. Reviews are wonderful, and require you to log in with some basic info. Clicking the pictures below will take you to either Jessie’s or AmyBeth’s contest page.

AmyBeth’s story is The Peanut Gallery Rebellion:

 Handcuffs aren’t only for the bedroom. Louisa struggles to come to terms with the disease that holds her body hostage, and the burden it places on her family. Once upon a time, handcuffs and bondage were playthings, but now the captivity is real.

Jessie’s story is Flori and the Tourist:

A young thief caught stealing a wallet must escape aggressive pursuit. She must reconsider her own boundaries and decide what she is willing to do in order to get away.

Postscript

Jessie and I both know what it’s like to be the mother of a child with special needs. The term neurotypical  was coined in the autistic community as a label for people who are not on the autism spectrum.[1] (Thank you wikipedia) Since “normal” is just a setting on the dryer, the term neurotypical is very useful.

Only one of my daughters has special needs, but both of them are absolutely adorable!

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The Next Big Thing

Posted on November 27, 2012 by AmyBeth Inverness

Betsy Tagged me in The Next Big Thing! For my ROW80 update, scroll to the bottom

1) What is the working title of your next book?

My WIP is The Chapel at the End of the Universe. It’s the “next” one that I’m writing, but not the “next” one that will be published.

2) Where did the idea come from for the book?

A publisher announced a new imprint specifically for GLBT Faith-based romance, and I was immediately hooked. After starting the first book, it’s title turned out to be The Sojourner’s Guide to the Galaxy. The rest of Douglas Adams‘ classic series  came naturally.

3) What genre does your book fall under?

GLBTQ Faith-Based Romance

4) What actors would you choose to play the part of your characters in a movie rendition? 

My friend, cover model John Quinlan

John Barrowman would play Doug, and either Jason Statham or The Rock would play Quinn, although I have to admit the look of Quinn came from romance cover model John Quinlan, who is a big sweetie! Hmmm… I wonder if John can act?

5) What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?

Doug is surprised to find that instead of being placed with a normal church, he is being sent to a Las Vegas wedding chapel; even more surprising is finding a love greater than he’d ever thought possible.

6) Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?

Although I’d love to have an agent, the one I like best might not accept all three of the combined genres. I will not self-publish, but I may approach a small press directly.

7) How long did it take you to write the first draft of the manuscript?

My hopes were to make this my NaNoWriMo novel, but I’m way behind.

8) What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?

The whole point of writing the Pangalactic Sojourner series is that there is a distinct gap in the market for GLBTQ Christian Romance.

9) Who or what inspired you to write this book?

I’ve been active in seeing two churches become Open and Affirming. For reasons beyond my comprehension, it is important to me that GLBTQ persons be able to fully participate in the Christian community.

10) What else about the book might pique the reader’s interest?

All the main characters in the Pangalactic Sojourner series are big SciFi fans, whether they’re just voracious readers, or love to dress up in elaborate Cosplay outfits.

According to Betsy’s site, the other people she tagged along with me are:

Quincy Allen
Travis Heerman 
Ari Marmell

Here are the people I’m tagging for next Wednesday:

Rob Brunet

Tiffany Reisz

Anyone else? If you’d like to be tagged next, please let me know!


And now my update for ROW80:

My word counts are way up this week, but not all of it was for NaNoWriMo. A few days ago I made a conscious decision to set down my NaNoNovel long enough to finish Stolen Cities, a SciFi short intended for submission to a local anthology. I’m currently whittling it down from 8k to the 5k limit so I can submit it in early December.

I don’t think I’ll be able to complete NaNoWriMo this year, but there’s a glimmer of hope. As far as the overall goal of concentrating on writing goes, I’m doing quite well! I might even put off the WIP just a bit longer and do yet another short for yet another anthology.

This week, I have a couple of important extras! A few weeks ago, my first story  was published in an anthology called Precipice. It’s available in both print and electronic formats. Also, I have a short story entered in the America’s Next Author contest, which ends soon. You can read and download that story for free on the website. I’d appreciate your vote (just takes a click on the site, no log in) and if you’re feeling very generous, please leave a review! (requires a log-in with basic info)

♥

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SciFi Question of the Day: Prepping for the Zombie Apocalypse

Posted on November 27, 2012 by AmyBeth Inverness

The Walking Dead on AMC… although they never say the word “zombie.”

SciFi Question of the Day: What kind of zombie-apocalypse preparations would also have non-apocalyptic benefits?

Facebook Answers:

  Douglas S Caprette  Most.  Expect the Mormons to survive the zombie apocalypse.

  Zachary Navakuku   Shotguns, Chainsaws, and Landmines all have practical home security Applications.

  AmyBeth Fredricksen   Shotguns, chainsaws, sure… but Landmines? Really?

  Al Hartman   Digging trenches is good exercise…

  Zachary Navakuku   Hey, I was awfully tempted to mention Anti-Tank Mines useful for the oversized zombie brute mutants in the Post Apocalypse and against government forced censorship attempts in the non-apocalypse, but I figured that was stretching it for you unprepared folks.

  Daniel Beard   Laying in cans of soup. they go bad in five years, so at least you know what you are having for dinner tonight.

  AmyBeth Fredricksen   I’d like to have a good, rotating supply of canned goods. A pantry that I can refill from the back and take stuff out from the front. So the cans were’re using might be a year old, but it means we have plenty in case we’re snowed in or something.

  Terry Morgan   Why Mormons?

  Geri Bressler   My grandma had the biggest pantry I’d ever seen – she was Mormon, and she always told me that she was supposed to have 7 years of food (or something), but that she didn’t have enough room for it. To this day, I feel like a bad parent if I don’t have enough food in the house for at least two weeks.

  Al Hartman   Clown makeup is always useful for kids parties… Zombies won’t eat clowns, they taste funny!

  AmyBeth Fredricksen And Geri has chickens!

  Geri Bressler   Bandaids…those things are money!

  Geri Bressler   I do – and they’re giving us tons of eggs!!

  Geri Bressler   Brown ones, green ones, the occasional pink one…

  AmyBeth Fredricksen   I want a hot plate powered by pedals, like a bike. Sort-of Gilligan’s Island style!

  William J. Teegarden Guns and ammo, lots of both. Always come in handy no matter what the occasion: zombie apocalypse, keggers, second terms, or removing pesky Occupiers.

  Douglas S Caprette Terry asked: “Why Mormons?”

Geri answered: “she was Mormon, and she always told me that she was supposed to have 7 years of food (or something”

I always heard one year such as AmyBeth advocates. And yes, that is the reason.

  Geri Bressler One year sounds more reasonable than seven! I’m trying to picture seven years worth of food…Pretty sure you’d need an extra house or two to store it! LOL

  AmyBeth Fredricksen On “Doomsday Preppers” they sometimes have storage containers (Like you see on the back of a semi truck or used to ship goods across the ocean) buried in their back yards.

Google Plus Answers:

  Ben Guilfoy  Gardening.

  Tiffany Marshall  Establishing buddy-systems.

  Pat G  A number of organizations use Zombie prep as a lead in to real emergency preparations. Just about everything you can do to prep for zombies works for more mundane situations – except maybe stocking up on decapitation tools.

  Glenn Rogers  Twinkies.

  AmyBeth Inverness  OMG yes! I totally forgot about the Twinkies!

  Samuel Falvo II  Building your own set of radios or solarphones.  It’s a really fun hobby, you get a great sense of satisfaction from completion, and when the zombies attack, you still have a means to stay in touch without the oversight of a central authority (single point of failure).

  Samuel Falvo II  Also, building your own computer, for similar reasons.

  Samuel Falvo II  +Pat G Decapitation tools like axes and/or crowbars are used extensively in rescue efforts after a major earthquake.

  Ben Guilfoy  Good luck finding Twinkies until someone buys that brand or the mediation takes an upward swing.

  AmyBeth Inverness  Which is more important… the twinkies, or the decapitation tools?

  Jennifer Coleman  Making your own beer

  Ben Guilfoy  If only the world was more like a videogame, and decapitating your enemies yielded rewards such as Twinkies…

  AmyBeth Inverness  OOhh +Jennifer Coleman good point! And great for barter in case of long-term outages. I bet +Christopher Clark would go for that!

  Jennifer Coleman  I also…uh….spin yarn. (No laughing at my extreme nerdiness)

  Jennifer Coleman  My bro makes knives too. That would be useful. Knives don’t need reloading

  AmyBeth Inverness  +Jennifer Coleman I know several spinners, actually! A very useful skill, as well as a fun hobby!

  Jennifer Coleman  It’s very “zen” for me. I don’t even care what I’m making….lol

  Richard Erickson  Non-perishable food and weapons, grow your own food,store water … okay everything you do in preparation for the coming zombie apocalypse is beneficial  🙂

  AmyBeth Inverness  Not sure about “everything…” over on facebook they’re arguing for decapitation tools and landmines…

  Richard Erickson  lol

  Lason Strike  Keeping a large herd of swine would be beneficial in any apocalypse.  And they eat zombies for lunch.  There’s no better way to dispose of a body.  Seriously, pigs have thousands of uses, some as yet undiscovered.  We need a George Washington Carver for pigs.

  Christopher Clark  Sorry I was working, had a show tonight.

making grain ethanol would be good even on a short term, because it can be fuel and wound cleaning… and drunken sexy zombie parties

This week, I have a couple of important extras! A few weeks ago, my first story  was published in an anthology called Precipice. It’s available in both print and electronic formats. Also, I have a short story entered in the America’s Next Author contest, which ends soon. You can read and download that story for free on the website. I’d appreciate your vote (just takes a click on the site, no log in) and if you’re feeling very generous, please leave a review! (requires a log-in with basic info)

♥

SciFi Q of the DayI would love to hear what you think! Even if you are reading this post a year or more after publishing, I hope you will leave a comment with your own ideas on this topic.

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