SciFi Q of the Day: Caped Confessions

capeSciFi Question of the Day: What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever done while wearing a cape?

Facebook Answers:

  Douglas S Caprette I daresay that is begging the question…

  Sarah Deatherage well, it depends…are you talking onstage, or offstage?

  Emily Becker Priest ummm… won it a an amusement park and then proceeded to wear it the rest of the day… and yes this was well past my college graduation.

  Dennis Hotston Well, I kind of keep that in the tent……

  Derri Herbert I don’t know about stupidest, but got the biggest reaction? Ordering a hamburger at Mcdonald’s.

Google Plus Answers, Science Fiction Community

   Adam Haberlach   Is that while wearing just cape, or something with a cape.

Just looking for clarification.

  AmyBeth Inverness  Ummm… either.

Or an ascot. People do stupid things wearing ascots too.

  Jeff Love  Walked out into the road to stop traffic. I was 7 and in a Superman costume.

   Chris Wronka  I tried to run but I stepped on my cape and pulled myself down.

   Hayley Enoch  I know the answer you’re looking for is “Mouth of to my rival while floating next to a jet engine,” right?

  Trey Durant  Jumped off the roof… The ground is a lot harder than you would think.

  Kris Niedbalski  Isn’t wearing a cape sufficiently stupid to qualify?

  Nick W  Nothing because while wearing a cape nothing can go wrong.

Google Plus Answers, Speculative Fiction Writers Community:

  David Collins-Rivera  Smashed a neighbor’s windshield.  Twice.  (I wasn’t playing the hero those nights.)

  K R Smith  Just wearing the cape was stupid enough….

Google Plus Answers, Public Post:  

  Aaron Gordon  Shot water balloons at a police car from the roof of a friend’s house, at about 3 AM. We didn’t realize it was a cop til the lights turned on.

  Laura Klein  Rode a bicycle.

In a cape.

I’ll let your imagination do the rest.

   Jon Evans  My cape has special powers — everything I do in it becomes awesome. 🙂

SciFi Q of the Day 2013

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Inverness Prostitutes in Bomb Shelters

800px-Invernesscastle1Not Really. But those two items were key searches that found my blog last week, so I thought I’d give the searchers a little something to find lol!

I’m planning out my writing time for the summer. Next week I have a blessed chunk of extra time each day because we’re paying the sitter to take the kids. I have editing to do for a friend, but I will be combining my time with my own writing.

Just exactly WHAT I’m writing is uncertain.

I have too many unfinished projects. However at this point in my career, that’s not exactly a bad thing. I don’t have any contracts yet. So instead of seeing the unfinished projects as a mire of despair, I look at it as a pool from which I can draw any one of several unfinished projects.

Short Stories: I should do more of these. Submitting once a week was nigh impossible. Perhaps finishing a story once a week is a better goal. I love the 2k’s… that’s a great length for me. If I write longer, I tend to overcomplicate things.

Pangalactic Sojourners: I would love to have all five books in rough draft form before I send them off. This is because I want them to intertwine more. I have a blog for the characters that I’m creating now, because the stories take place in 2012-2014ish. Some blog entries I make as I go, such as my characters’ take on current events, and other entries I post-date to reflect something that happened in their fictional world. The first book’s characters should be getting their HEA this summer. The next book’s HEA will be shortly thereafter. This series is dear to me, and I absolutely want to make it the best it can be.

Kingdom Come: Originally my mainstay, these stories of polyamorous romance are still inhabiting a portion of my brain. I’ve created a world I love and the possibilites for stories are endless. But they’re not what I’m concentrating on at the moment.

Victoria Pontifex: This is my Steampunk series. It began when a friend dared me to write a story with a Steampunk mermaid, an emo pirate, and a metrosexual naval officer. Then I realized that another story I was working on could easily be tweaked for the same world. Then I found an image I adore that inspired another story. I’m considering buying the rights to the image (I’ve already communicated with the artist) and using it as a cover for my 3-Day-Novel competition story. This means I would warm up for the Labor Day weekend event by working on Give Me Your Answer Do and To Whom She Was Wed at the end of the summer.

Besides the actual writing, there are numerous writing-related tasks that require my time. I’m editing for a friend, and will likely edit for one or two more at some point. I need to get my submission database in order so I can keep track of what I’ve sent where. I need to decide what gets stored in the cloud and what I keep on my machines at home. My laptop is old and may soon be replaced, so I need to figure out what files to copy over and which to delete (there’s a lot of blog stuff that does not need to live on my hard drive.) The organization of files I used when I was prepublished is not efficient now, so I need to redo that. It would benefit me if I looked more into how Microsoft’s Libraries work, as well as developing my knowledge of MS Access databases. That benefits my day job as well, as I teach MS Office in the Spring (usually.)

So the next step: Editing (which is going to take a couple of weeks) and looking at my list of possible submission markets. I think I’ve missed a few possibilities because the stories I was working on grew wonky legs and walked off in a direction that made no sense. Missed opportunities are regrettable, but not cause for great concern as long as I take advantage of new ones.

OK. I’ve figured it out now. Off I go! Wish me luck (wink wink)

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Interview with Joel Moore

joel-1-500x751Betrayed and sexually abused by the pastor of his church when he was a young adolescent, Joel buried the memories for decades. He struggled with addictions, and kept a part of himself walled off from everyone, even from Amy, whom he met at bible college and married when he was 24. Their bond was strong, yet their relationship was severely tested by his addictive behavior, moodiness and the secrets that Joel kept from both Amy and himself.

When their children came along, Joel became a full-time parent, but the simmering secret he hid from himself fostered a chronic anger that brought their marriage to the brink. In desperation, Joel committed himself to reading the Gospel of John, every day, from start to finish, for one month. “That changed my life. I was seeing the opposite of my life. Love, not hate.” His openness to what lies within finally unsealed the long-buried memories of the abuse.

He began writing in his journal (“my therapist”), a practice that continues to the present. He started his own web site (http://www.perpetuallyhealing.com). Today, through writing and counseling, Joel is on the mend, and he and Amy are closer than ever.

Joel is also one of my High School classmates from Longmont, Colorado.

1.       How did you come up with the name “I Am Not Bubba?”

No spaces please, like Prince, or Madonna. I am, iamnotbubba, “I don’t know who this Bubba guy is, I am not him.” As an expression of self-identity I am not who you think I am. I am me and no one else. My mother used to compare me to my deceased father so as a gentle reminder to everyone including me. I am me. (try googling iamnotbubba)

2.       Is writing for you the beginning of a career with multiple projects, or is it all about one very important and personal project?

I have always loved the art of words and word-play. I have an extremely macabre sense of humor. Yes, I would love to write something more fictional in the future. My entire focus right now is this one project. Getting it in front of as many eyes as possible.  To help other men and women find the courage to “Redirect the Shame” back onto the perpetrators of such horror and violence.

3.       What initially prompted you to write?

The one phrase that has played over and over in my mind is “write what you know and know what you write.” In this phase in my life as I learn more about me, I am able to discover who I really am and not what others may project upon me. Also, I find that writing calms the savage beast inside me. In some cases I am able to let him out. Re:Homicide

4.       What is your favorite electronic or digital writing tool?

I use Google Drive exclusively. Its a very simple interface that is clear and easy to use. All of my work is backed up instantly. My computer is a Gateway laptop with Linux Ubuntu 13.04 installed. I absolutly hate Microsoft and Apple thinks too highly of itself. So I bought a cheap laptop and put a superior operating system on it,

5.       What is your favorite non-electronic writing tool?

I use a mechanical pencil that I have had since college way, way back in 1992. I call it my lucky pencil, creativity seems to flow better through it.

6.       What is the most persistent distraction from writing?

Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Oh yea and Facebook. LOL

7.       What is your ideal writing environment? Have you ever been able to create it?

Right now, The Isley Brothers are playing, The children are napping, I am sitting in my favorite leather recliner, Freshly pressed coffee steaming next to me.  Like that. Good music, Comfy chair, Tasty coffee.

8.       How do you fit writing time into a busy life with a wife and two young kids?

The only way I get anything done creatively is noise canceling headphones and naptime. I am screwed when they stop napping. LOL

9.       How do you get through writer’s block?

The last time I had writers block I took the family to Durango for a few days.

10.   Has writing helped exorcise any of your personal demons?

Oh YES!! re: Homicide

11.   Do you plan to keep Perpetually Healing in blog format, or will you put it all together in a book?

I would love to see it in book form. I want to create a whole advocacy group around “Redirecting the Shame”  The whole idea is to advocate for other men like me both personally by reading my story and legislatively. There seems to be a bias in the court systems and society as a whole toward female victims. It is harder for a male to come forward and press charges for rape than a female. (not that any one is worse than the other) As men we are told to “suck it up buttercup” I refuse to accept that answer. Crime that is not prosecuted is still crime. I hope to change the national paradigm through this work that boys get raped just as much as girls. Its just not reported on.  There also seems to be this nasty little impediment called the “statute of limitations” I would like to see that revoked for sexual crimes involving children. A Lot of times the children are not in a place either physically or mentally to report. Especially if the perp. is a family member.

12.   Is the story ever really complete?

No, Its entitled “Perpetually Healing” for a reason.

13.   What is the Wings Foundation?

The Wings Foundation is local support group network based here in Denver. They work to help survivors like me learn to cope with the lasting effects of trauma.  I have been going to a group for almost 2 and half years. The support I have received there has saved my life,

14.   What is the Bristlecone Project?

The Bristlecone Project headed by Dr. David Lisak is an online resource for men to see that they are not alone and that they can heal and thrive from such atrocities.

15.   Is there a greater stigma attached to male victims of sexual abuse than to female victims?

Absolutely! For example, a friend of mine has been invited to speak at a TED conference here in Denver. When asked what motivated him, His reply was, that the the sexual abuse perpetrated upon him by his father and brother gave him the drive to do what he does. The organisers deliberately censored him and told him not to tell that part of his story.

16.   How has the Gospel of John changed your life?

My wife asked me once. “Are you EVER happy?”

I was at rock bottom when I reached out for help. I was demonstrating the opposite of what I claimed to believe, hate.   I was showing hate and yet professing love. Out of 7 days, 24 hours in a day I was in full rage every hour of the day. My life was fracturing. Amy was about to leave me. I knew something was broken but I just couldn’t put my finger on what it was. I knew from my seminary days that the Gospel of John was affectionately known as the “Love Book” I figured If I could find out what love was, perhaps I could do that.

That month in the garage trading time for time has transformed EVERYTHING!!! I am still married to the same woman of almost 17 years. My children are no longer afraid of me. I am happy, Yes, I am angry at AFB but I no longer want him dead.

17.   I’m writing these questions on Father’s Day. How was the day for you?

On the outside It was good, My daughter decorated a glass jar and filled it with hershey kisses and love notes. On the inside I was mourning the loss of my innocence.

Joel Daddy18.   What’s the best thing about being a stay-at-home-dad?

I get to watch my children grow. I get to teach my children, I get to show them the world and see it new again. My children will know they had a father that changed everything to be with them. Rather than a parent that hired someone to raise them. (The opposite of how I was raised)

19.   Do you ever get back up to Longmont?

I am actively working to take back my fear of Longmont. I was there a few months ago in an effort to take the past out of the present.

20.   Who shot first? Han or Greedo?

Couldn’t they just hug?

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SciFi Q of the Day: Centrifutile Force

SciFi Question of the Day: Define Centrifutile Force.

Posted on June 9

Facebook Answers:

  Pony Horton The force that is observed while spinning one’s wheels in an effort to educate the obtuse.  

  Geri Bressler The force that compels people to continuously repeat the same behaviors that prevent them from fulfilling their potential in an endlessly futile cycle.  

  Melissa Conway A force that attracts humans into large shopping malls to buy things to make themselves feel better through materialism. It is a trap! humans feel the euphoria for a short while and them are drawn once again into the futility of the experience. Oh wait, that’s called mass marketing or capitalism….my bad…  

  John DeChancie Facebook.  

  Bill Nevin Circular push  

  Sarah Deatherage Damn I am trying to think of something clever but Pony Horton wins this definition. Good one dude. Good one.  

  Box O’ Munchkins Spinning Round in circles not accomplishing anything  

Twitter Answers:

drmagoo's avatar  drmagoo @drmagoo  @USNessie The force that keeps people circling a bad idea long after they should have given up on it.

Google Plus Answers, Speculative Fiction Writers Community:

   Charles Barouch   What’s the point?

  Dan Thompson  The world around revolves me, and there’s nothing I can do about it.

   Gerri Lynn Baxter   I can’t stay off the Spider Carnival Ride!

   Keith Keffer   Centrifutile Force: The energy exerted when trying to stop my son from running in circles.

   J.D. Hallowell   Centrifutile force: The energy that keeps you going round and round a problem without ever coming to a resolution.

   Louis Doggett  Good answers   Mine is:   Going now where fast.

Google Plus Answers, Science Fiction Community:

   Kurt Copeland   The inability to hit the center of a target regardless of skill, the range to target, or the quality of the weapon.

   Charles Brooks   2 forces acting simultaneously?? My guess anyways

  Harv Griffin  That which is produced, as a by-product, when the irresistible force blasts into the immovable object; when alcohol and/or THC are involved as catalysts. @hg47

Google Plus Answers, Public Post:

   Joanna Staebler-Kimmel   that’s the one where an object going around in a circle is flung out of the loop.

   Vivian Spartacus   That’s the one where no matter how many times you slingshot off the sun in order to travel back in time, you will never find the timeline you are looking for…

   Samuel Falvo II   That’s the force felt on your head when trying to explain to people that centrifugal force doesn’t actually exist, and that it’s merely a thought-convenience.  Kind of like “conventional current,” as distinct from “electron current.”

   James Karaganis   If you spin fast enough, there is no resistance.

   Dalt Wisney   It’s the realization that you’ll never get past 100k points on the game Centipede.

   dab ten   Cent-tri-futile is the process of throwing pennies at something and realizing it will never cause damage

   dab ten   Cent-tri-futile is the process of throwing pennies at something and realizing it will never cause damage

   David Collins-Rivera   There is actually no such thing.  There is only cetripedo force, which is best measured by creepy middle-aged men.

SciFi Q of the Day 2013

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Phamily

Me in the green room with a bunch of the cast and crew. I grabbed whomever was in reach and said "I need a picture to share!" lol! We deliberately avoided sharing pics of cast in costume at this point because spoilers are always a big issue.

Me in the green room with a bunch of the cast and crew. I grabbed whomever was in reach and said “I need a picture to share” lol! We deliberately avoided sharing pics of cast in costume at this point because spoilers are always a big issue.

Phamily: The close-knit group formed among those working together to produce Star Trek Phase II

For my ROW80 Update, scroll to the bottom.

It’s that time of year. Every June-ish Star Trek Phase II shoots an episode of classic Trek over in Port Henry New York, just over an hour from our house. Since 2007, my hubby and I have participated in these shoots whether we go for the entire time (about 2 weeks usually) or just a few days.

We call each other family. Some people think that means we’re a sweet and loving bunch who always gets along and ends each day singing Kumbaya around the bonfire.

Er…not quite…

Yes, we are a family.

We steal each others’ toys and blame the dog.

We argue over whom Mom and Dad likes best and who got the bigger piece of cake.

We blame each other for putting decaf in the regular coffee pot and vice-versa.

We put up with our weird uncle because we love him…even though he’s…well…weird. Really weird.

We forget our cousin’s boyfriend’s name even though they’ve been dating for three years and he’s now her fiance.

We bring up religion and politics over dinner even though we know it’s not going to end well.

We get mad. I mean, really mad. Then we get over it.

We play favorites with our siblings.

We get very territorial in the sandbox.

Some of us detest JJ Trek, some like it, and some have varying opinions somewhere in between.

Yes, we do have bonfires. But every time I’ve tried getting people to sing Kumbaya I’ve been shouted down.

I’ve actually tried to instigate a Star Wars vs Star Trek debate, but most of us like both. And superheroes. And Mythbusters. And although most won’t admit it, I suspect they also agree that Karl Urban is incredibly hot.

ROW80LogocopyMy writing goals for the week? On hold. This round I made my goal to submit something every week, however these next couple of weeks I will be busy editing a friend’s novels.

 

 

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Interview with Dan Thompson

Thompson HeadshotI have been reading science fiction and fantasy since childhood, with early memories of Ringworld and A Princess of Mars, but I was writing SF/F even before that, inspired by Star Wars and playing Dungeons and Dragons with my big brother. I have also been drawing and painting in various SF/F veins for about as long.

As for my personal life, I am an unreformed un-hippie, a long-haired kilt-wearing Scotsman, a gamer, a geek, a native-born Texan, a burner, a fan-boy… all in all a general purpose weirdo living down the street. My politics are both too liberal for most Democrats and too conservative for most Republicans, so I tend not to say much about them. And if you’re ever looking for me in a crowd, I have been described as “somewhere between a Norse god and a serial killer.”

But mostly, I’m just that dude sitting over there in the corner.

1.       Why do so many of us stop playing Dungeons and Dragons even though we still enjoy the game?

For most of us, it comes down to time and the increasing responsibilities of adulthood.  My golden age of playing D&D was in college (late 80’s) when we held a marathon session every Sunday from lunch until the wee hours of the night.  We all lived in the same dormitory, so it was simply a matter of walking down the hall to the study lounge and then ordering pizza for dinner.  These days with kids, jobs, and living all across town, the practical obstacles to such a regular gathering are insurmountable.

However, I do want to point to a couple of solutions.  The first is computer-based D&D.  No, I don’t mean MMORPGs like World of Warcraft.  I mean specialized chat clients that support group chat, private, messaging, public and private die rolls, and in many cases maps and supplementary images.  Add in Skype or Ventrilo, and it’s comparable to being in the same room.  In some ways, it’s better, since you can pass private notes back and forth to the DM without any of the other players noticing.  The last time I actually played D&D was in this style and in many ways, it was the most immersive role-playing experience I’ve ever had.

The second solution is to start playing with your kids or coworkers.  One of my old college gaming buddies has been leading his kids through a number of dungeons lately.  He also has a semi-regular lunch session with some coworkers, though they’re playing Traveller.

2.       Do you ever use RPG methods for creating characters in your stories?

About the only thing I’ve lifted from RPG’s for my writing is the notion of random attributes.  No, I’m not rolling dice to generate the intelligence of my characters, but the idea keeps my mind open about possibilities.  Does that character have to be male?  Does she have to be pretty?  Does the guard have to be dumb?  I have found that when I opt for the non-obvious choice, I have been rewarded with much richer characters who come alive rather than hiding in bland two-dimensionality.

3.       Are you related to Santa Clause?

Yes, he’s my uncle – sort of.  When I was about four or five, we had a large family gathering for Christmas: aunts, uncles, all the cousins, etc.  As we’re winding down towards bedtime on Christmas Eve, Santa arrived, complete with red suit and white beard.  Amidst all the excitement, I glanced around and saw that my uncle Clifford was missing, and upon closer inspection, I saw that behind the beard, Santa bore a striking resemblance to that uncle.

Now, you would think that this would be the point in my intellectual development that I would realize I was being had, that there was no Santa, only my uncle in a suit.  Alas, that was not the conclusion my young, Christmas-frenzied mind reached.  Rather than realizing my uncle was playacting, I concluded that my uncle was, in truth, the real Santa Clause!

For a few more years, I was convinced that my cousins got the Best Presents Ever!

Thompson Omega_Starfury4.       What’s the coolest piece of SFF art or memorabilia you own?

That’s a tough one, because I own quite a bit, but probably the coolest is a replica of an Omega-class Star Fury from Babylon 5.  It’s not the rarest or most beautiful, but I would have to say it is the coolest.

5.       What is your favorite Pre-Raphaelite work?

“Meeting on the Turret Stairs” by Frederic William Burton.  My wife and I both fell in love with this piece.  We love the rich colors, and the detail, but mostly it’s the theme that gets us.  It’s a brief romantic interlude, hidden away from prying eyes.  It seems both forbidden and quietly passionate.

I am fond of several other pieces from this movement, many of which are much better known, but this is my favorite.

Thompson Meeting_on_the_Turret_Stairs_-_1864 (1)6.       Who is Cassandra?

I am.  I’d explain, but you’d never believe me.

Pre-Raphaelite painting of Cassandra. I can see the resemblance...

Pre-Raphaelite painting of Cassandra. I can see the resemblance…

In Greek mythology, Cassandra was given the gift of prophecy but cursed so that no one would believe her.  Thus, she went through life knowing all the troubles to come but unable to convince anyone to avert the pending disasters.  I have a soft-spot for Cassandra figures in modern story telling – perhaps my favorite is G’Kar of Babylon 5 – because they provide such great foreshadowing that rarely spoils the coming surprise.

As for me, let’s just say I’ve developed a reputation for being right about the future, but that friends and coworkers have rarely appreciated it until after the fact.

7.       Do you own a utilikilt?

No.  I own several!  I got hooked on them almost ten years ago, and in Texas, they are the perfect garments for most of the year.  In the few weeks that qualify as winter, they’re a bit too cool, and in the heat of late summer, they’re a little too heavy.  But for the rest of the year, it’s great.

8.       What is the significance of the key that hangs on your office wall?

Wow, this is a toughie.  Let me start by saying that I’m not a big believer in mystical dreams or the likes.  I’m too much of a scientist to put much stock in it.  However, I can’t deny people what they themselves experienced, and this is one of my own experiences.

Very early in my writing career, I had a sequence of dreams that all featured one object: a key.  It wasn’t a modern key with grooves and angular teeth.  Rather, it was an old-style, almost iconic, key.  It was big, made of brass, and had a ring for a handle and a single tooth at the end.  If Gandalf or Dumbledore had to open a magical door, this was the kind of key they would use.

I don’t want to get too much into the nature of the dreams – except to say that I don’t need hallucinogens, thank you very much – but I came to understand that the key represented something about my creativity or my imagination and that it could be used to create wonderful things or to distract me from the important things in life.  I never told anyone about these dreams at the time.  They were for my own private navel gazing.

So anyway, as these dreams were pounding away at me over the years, I was also struggling with my writing, as I tried to make the transition from short stories to novels.  In the middle of that, at a WorldCon, my wife presented me with a gift: a large brass key, styled exactly like the ones in my dreams.  She had no idea what it meant to me.  She had simply seen in the dealer’s room and thought I would like it.

So, while I still don’t know what to make of such dream analysis or coincidental gifts in the waking world, I have hung on to that key.  When I get discouraged in my writing, I look at it, hanging on my wall… and I get back to writing.

9.       What is the Burning Man community about?

Golly, that’s a hard one to pin down.  I would say the culture is about radical self-expression and self-reliance, and the events are temporary cities built to encourage those attributes.  More information, of course, can be found at http://www.burningman.com/  for the big event in the Nevada desert or at http://burningflipside.com/  for the Austin-based regional event I attend each year.

But probably what makes burn events so different from other events is that the experience is unique to each person.  If anything, it’s… well, *more* unique.   I know that’s twisting the meaning if unique, but in this case, I think the grammar Nazis should cut me some slack.

So, my experience with burn events, particularly Burning Flipside, is a fun campout with friends that I can count on.  I volunteer as part of the safety team (“rangers”), and I am actually one of the shift-leads who handles the radio dispatch.  It’s both fun and challenging, and it’s been a great opportunity to stretch myself into new areas of responsibility.  That might sound more like work than fun, but it’s a chance for self-discovery.  Plus, as my wife has said, competence is sexy.

I also do airbrush bodypainting, and Flipside is one of my best venues for it with plenty of happy canvas walking around.  I must have painted twenty-five people at this most recent event, but when you consider that there were over 2500 participants, that’s less than 1%.  So, while I may have been cranking them out hour after hour, each one of them had their own painting, and they were one of the special few with such decorations.

So, when I tell people about these events, I tell them about the things I have experienced like art, fire-spinners, acrobats, art cars, dancing, and so on, but I also tell them this: The thing that will make the biggest impression on you will not be anything I have mentioned.  It will be something new, something ephemeral, something that even I can’t quite wrap my brain around.  It will be… unique.

10.   How do you feel about Battlestar Gallactica rebooting with Starbuck as a female character?  How do you feel about reboots in general?

I have mixed opinions about reboots in general.  Some seem to take an orphaned property and breathe new life into it.  Others seem to cash in on another successful property while offering nothing worthwhile.  For example, the 1978 reboot of the Superman franchise was well done and introduced the hero to a new generation.  Lois and Clarke and Smallville did good jobs building on that as well.  Meanwhile, Tim Burton’s reboot of Planet of the Apes was atrocious.  Ditto with Will Smith’s reboot of Wild Wild West.

But as for Battlestar Galactica’s reboot of Starbuck?  This is probably one of the best reboots I’ve ever seen, not just for the series, but for a character.  It’s not that I think Kara Thrace (aka “Starbuck”) was better because she was a woman.  I think Kara Thrace was better because she became real.  The original Starbuck was a fairly simple happy-go-lucky pilot, and about the only hint we got as to his depth was the episode where they found his father.  Meanwhile, Kara Thrace dragged us to the depths in the first five or six episodes, and we never came back up for air.

11.   Which Babylon Five actor would you most like to invite to your house for dinner?

Part of me would like to answer Andreas Katsulas who played G’Kar, just because that would mean bringing this fine actor back from the grave.  However, sticking to the living, I’d have to go with Claudia Christian, simply because Ivanova is God.

12.   Can you explain how many different venues an Indie author has to consider when publishing a book in electronic format?

There are dozens of venues for electronic self-publishing.  The big fish, of course, is Amazon.  (Obligatory piranha joke goes here.) Kobo is a rising star, especially in international markets, and the Nook is hanging on.  Apple and Google remain mysteries to me as everyone I know who reads ebooks on Apple or Google/Android devices does it via a Kindle reader application.  In other words, they become an alternate version of Amazon’s Kindle device.

Amazon, Kobo, and Nook all have direct submission programs, so you can set yourself up with them fairly easily.  The vast majority of my sales have been through Amazon, and while Nook’s future may be in doubt, I believe Kobo will only grow stronger in the coming years.

Smashwords will get you into all of these and others, of course, but I prefer going direct to the ones I can reach myself.  It gives me greater control (and a greater cut).  I also have ongoing problems with Smashwords’ aptly-named Meatgrinder book formatter.  While they are a champion for Indie authors, I know several who have stayed away because of the Meatgrinder.

But in all of that, never overlook the print market.  Even in fiction, ebook sales are only 40-50% of the market.  Some people will always prefer print, and with easy print-on-demand fulfillment from Createspace, there’s no reason not to have both print and electronic.

13.   How many flavors of FTL are there? How many flavors of hyperspace are there?

As many as you want there to be, I suppose, but I find that most FTL’s break down into four basic types: warp drive, hyperspace, wormholes, and jump drives.  The names may change, and there’s some mix and match, but rarely have I seen anything that breaks those paradigms.  The pilots of Dune may “fold space”, but their method of transport is functionally equivalent to jump drives.  Of course, a single universe need not limit itself to just one.  David Weber’s Honor Harrington series made good use of the strategic mix of hyperspace and wormholes.  I’m in the middle of a series of blog posts on precisely this subject.

14.   What advice would you give a newbie author about writing epic, multi-novel storylines?

Prove to yourself that you can write a good book before investing too much energy into multi-novel storylines.  I understand that research and outlines have their purpose, but they’re no substitute for the grind of going from “Chapter 1” to “The End”.  I know the market is geared towards trilogies and ongoing series, but even if you end up throwing the novel away, the experience of writing it will be worth your while.

Thompson ShipsOfMyFathers_FrontCover_600px15.   How did the idea for Ships of My Fathers begin?

This one came together from multiple sources.  The first was the Harry Potter series, which wrapped up (in book form) in 2007.  Yes, I’m jumping from fantasy to sci-fi here, but it was the slow revelation of the back story that caught my attention, particularly relating to Harry’s father.

Then came the fact that my own father died in 2005, and as time went by, I began to ponder different back stories for my own father.  The movie Safe House (1998, with Patrick Stewart) did an interesting job with this, as a retired executive reveals to his children that he was actually a covert operative all along.  I started to imagine little what-if scenarios with my own father.  What if he had been a spy?  Or a classified weapons designer?  Or a hidden government witness?  What if some of his old contacts came looking for me?  What if he had left a job for me to finish?  None of these scenarios fit the facts, of course, but they were interesting thought experiments.

And finally, while editing my first novel, Beneath the Sky, a friend of mine spoke of how much she enjoyed the character Father Chessman.  He was a minor figure, originally meant as little more than a stock villain, but I could see the potential there.  Combine that with various references to a civil war that had come 15-20 years before, and I had exactly the kind of fertile ground for back stories that Harry Potter had.

So, from those disparate sources, I have a tale of a boy coming into adulthood without his parents.  Their fate was tied up in the civil war years ago, but now that Michael is digging into the past, we find that it’s not quite as buried as his parents.  Of course, it goes in a completely different direction than the Harry Potter books, but I owe the slow revelation of histories and motivations to that series.

16.   How many books will be in this series?

There will be five.  I pretty much know what is happening in each book, and I have the titles chosen as well.  I don’t want to give out any spoilers, but I will say that the second book, Debts of My Fathers, has already been drafted and should be out around January 2014.

17.   How much of a series do you like to have written before the first of the series is published?

I like to have an idea of where I’m going.  That’s more important to me than having large portions of it already written.  I may not know exactly how I’m getting there, but I have each book’s climax in my head as well as the final denouement of the last book.

As for how much to have written?  I am aiming to have the next book written before the current one is published.  That is, book N+1 should be down on paper before book N heads out the door.  This lets me catch some continuity details that I might otherwise miss.  For example, in writing book 2, I realized I wanted to keep returning to a particular pocket knife as a touchstone throughout the series, so I made sure to give it more visibility in book 1.

In an ideal world, I would want to write the entire series in one go and polish it all before the outside world saw the first word.  And in that ideal world, I wouldn’t have bills to pay either.  So, as it is, they’re going out as I work my way through.

18.   What is your favorite electronic or digital writing tool?

I’m a Microsoft Word junkie.  I’ve been using it for close to twenty-five years.  I’ve heard all the raves for tools like Scrivener, but Word is good enough that nothing has enticed me to start the learning curve of a new tool.

19.   What is your favorite non-electronic writing tool?

My red pen.  The brand has changed over the years – currently a Uni-ball Gel – but it’s always been a red pen.  Apart from early schoolwork, I have always done my writing on screen, so I’ve never drafted on paper.

However, I have always edited on paper, and that’s where the red pen comes in.  The analogy to blood-letting is obvious, but I try not to think of it too much has hacking and slashing.  Instead, it’s like surgery, where each cut is necessary, each resection is prudent, and the transplants life-saving.  Subsequent passes are less like combat surgery and become increasingly cosmetic.  The final pass is little more than wart removal.  But there’s always a little blood.

Thompson HanShotFirst20.   Who shot first, Han or Greedo?

I’ve got three answers to that question, but they all come down this: Han, Han, and Han!

So yes, Han shot first.  That’s what I saw in 1977, and no seft-doubting revisionist is going to edit my childhood.  That’s right, Mr. Lucas.  You are dead to me!!!

And for the sake of the story, of course Han shot first.  When Han shoots first, he shows us he’s a character of action.  He takes care of his own problems, and he’s not afraid to get his hands dirty.  It’s merely “sorry for the mess” and on with business.  He’s exactly the kind of partner you want to have at your back when you’re blowing up an Imperial Death Star.

But on a more serious artistic note, yes, Han shot first.  That was the decision Lucas made back in the 1970’s when he was immersed in the project, and he should have trusted his initial judgment.  If anything, these revisionist “special editions” should serve as a warning to artists of all stripes.  Do your best work, and then let it stand on its own.  Don’t spend the rest of your life coming back and tweaking it.  Do new work.  Go amazing places.  Surprise us once again.  Yes, you may start to see the warts on your early work, but it’s part of your history as well as the history of your early fans.  The solution is not to go back and fix them.  The solution is to make us forget the warts by blowing our minds with something else.

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The Goal Post for June 5

ROW80LogocopyI did it!

I submitted to a big magazine. A 3k story to Analog!

All the submissions I’ve done thus far have been to small press…even micro-press anthologies and magazines. I’ve very proud of the acceptances I’ve had, and I’m growing more confident in my own abilities. It’s time to start reaching a bit more.

My goal is different this round than it has been previously: Submit something every week. For the last two weeks, I missed that. (Although I did have a story published in the June issue of GETLF8D and I received an acceptance for an anthology.) This week I came back in a big way.

If accepted, I’ll be over the moon. If not, I’ll be able to shop it elsewhere, and I’m meeting my own goal of actually submitting instead of just writing things that sit on the shelf unedited, or worse, unfinished.

I’ve also arranged for childcare during the first week of summer vacation so I can concentrate on writing!

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SciFi Question of the Day: Your Lightsaber is Actually a Sonic Screwdriver

Via Flickr Creative Commons by Spacmonster

Via Flickr Creative Commons by Spacmonster

SciFi Question of the Day: You wake up in a cell on an Imperial Starship. From the next cell over you hear someone say “You’re a little short for a storm trooper…” You reach for your lightsaber, only to realize it’s actually a sonic screwdriver.

What do you do?

Facebook Answers:

  Sarah Barnard Alohamora…  
  Barry Gavin Open the door and leg it for the falcon,  
  Sarah Barnard The Falcon? I’m running for Serenity, with Hermione in tow!  
  Dan Bressler Wait for the commotion to die down, then escape the cell and deactivate the shielding on the thermal exhaust ports before getting the heck out of Dodge.  
  AmyBeth Fredricksen LMVAO Sarah!!!  
  Sarah Barnard Well, if you’re going to play mix and match…. Unless River’s there, in which case I’m with her.  
  Charles Root Jr I don’t know, I’ve never seen an episode of Dr. Who, I know he uses that screw driver, but what does it do?  
  Sarah Barnard It sonics things – can open or lock doors, hack computers, scan stuff like a star trek tricorder.  
  Barry Gavin Everything except wood really  
  Tony L Vissoc Break into song?  
  Tyler Tygur Gurdak Wake up Captain Mal and tell him to get ready to misbehave…and nerd out big time!  
  Bernard Hildebrand Grab my towel, stick a fish in my ear, and don’t panic.  
  Glenn E. Smith I tell Jar Jar Abrams to stop $#%@ing up Star Trek.  
  Dave Schofield ask for fish fingers and custard :-0

Google Plus Answers, Hannah Johnson’s reshare:

   Annie Lewis  Sonic the door. Walk out, sonic the blasters. And than join Luke, Leia, and Han in saving the universe! Woohoo!

   G. Sowul   Trying to replay (head hurts) last night, to figure out, why I’m on wrong movie set..

Google Plus Answers, Science Fiction Community:

   Gustavo Campanelli   I scan for lifeforms outside my cell, and when I detect none I open my cell.

   Terry Pold   After opening my cell I look out cautiously. Suddenly, all at once, and out of the blue, the shooting starts. I wait for the shooting to stop. Then use the confusion to make a run for the Tardis.  

   EB Taylor

Wonder what I’ve been smoking.

   Stefan Patelski   I start whistling “I am the Doctor”, the universal warning sign for bad guys to run away as fast as they can.   

   Nika Boyce   Grab my towel and stick out my thumb

   mike duron   I ask him what the person in the next cell told him, then make fun of his  shoes and tell him he’s no more than one generation from poor west virginia white trash and call him a rube and — oh, wait. oops…. 

   Kai Connell

Realise i’m in a cross over mash up and wait to be beamed out by Picard..

   Jonathan Dalar  Breathe a sigh of relief.  At least that crappy lightsaber has been replaced by the most efficient multi-tool of the future.

   R Ramarr   Don’t worry Rose is on it!

Google Plus Answers, The Whoniverse Community:

   Jenn Kirkland   Shout, “Geronimo!”

   Alaina Orban      first off they would have confiscated weapons… right?   

buuuuut!

i brake the lock and hide on a blind side of the door… the trooper walks past with the prisoner i jump out and grab the short storm trooper in a headlock cutting off air supply! the other prisoner is stunned! “RUN!” i yell, he takes off down the corridor. the trooper passed out i close the door and switch clothes with him lucky for me hes not too short and it fits decently. i walk out leaving him out cold in the cell…

carry on people!:)

   r dautzenberg   My first thought would be : ‘am I ginger ?’

   Becky Szombathy   I would check my hair. Somethin’ tellin’ me my hair is big, blond and curly.

   r dautzenberg   you’d probably want a mirror too to check your curves 😉

   Mario Tello  First thing? Ask yourself, Am I ginger?

   Sascha Denby   Am I ginger, am I am girl, wait, no, OK, and have I got legs?

   Tiffany Marshall   Try to remember what I did with the T.A.R.D.I.S.

   Cassity Bible   Offer the other person a jelly baby.

   isaac eglash   I would give a short speech while useing my sonic screw driver to disable his blaster and com unit then I would sprint away

   Patricia Lavery   You realize you’re on The Death Star and need to get OFF it soon.lol.

Google Plus Answers, Public Post:

   RJ Blain   I’m not sure I could do anything — the world is likely about to implode from the severe amount of awesome that is Time Lords and Jedi / Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, and Darth Vader occupying the same space.

   Winged Nazgul   Look for my towel.

   Dan Thompson   I hop back in my Tardis, go back in time, and kill Anakin after Padme gets pregnant.  (I’d have killed him much earlier… except I have a thing for Leia, and I’m unwilling to erase her from existence.)

   James Karaganis   I would immediately kill myself to prevent the Empire from gaining the secret of time travel.

No, of course, I wouldn’t. I would use my sonic screwdriver to escape from my captivity in order to do something typically desperate and utterly irresponsible that somehow works out fine in the end.

+Dan Thompson   Why not just go back and kill Palpatine before he becomes a problem? Then he won’t be around to corrupt that teenaged Annakin Skywalker twit before he has a chance to grow up a little.  

   Emily Vitori   Reprogram the interrogation droid and escape, leaving the prisoner next door because unfortunately, the events around her rescue are fixed points in time and cannot be changed.

   Dan Thompson   +James Karaganis Why not just kill Palpatine early on?  I suppose, but I’m still tempted to wipe Anakin off the map for being such an angsty little twerp.

  Pat G   Grab my Batleth, jump into my Eagle and make for the Ark while dodging Shadow ships. And when I finally peel my face of the puke encrusted floor, swear never to drink another pan galactic gargle blaster again….

   Richard Robinson   Take my medication!!!

   Joanna Staebler-Kimmel  Hope to %deity that I’m sufficiently genre-savvy to get myself out of this mess.

  dab ten  i’d do the same thing as last time let them escape work my way down to the core and set the sonic screwdriver to explode the core after Luke takes his shot then get myself out of there using my time travel compass

SciFi Q of the Day 2013

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Rearranging the Furniture

Viking 8X10

For my #ROW80 update, either read the entire rambling 700 words, or skip to the last paragraph. Thanks!

Trying something new for #AmWriting

I am fortunate enough to be married to an IT guy, and we own more computers than there are people in the family (that doesn’t mean they all work…) I have a laptop, which is big and although it’s getting old it does everything I need it to do. It’s technically portable, but a bit of a pain to move around and the battery’s bad so I have to plug in. I also have a netbook, which is very portable and has a great battery, but it is small and I don’t actually store any files on it, I use Dropbox.

I used to have my laptop at my chair in the living room, where I spend several hours each night between dinner and bedtime. The netbook would go either upstairs or out and about, wherever I wanted.

From my living room chair, I can watch TV and be close enough to the family to oversee the goings-on and get children a glass of milk or band-aid whenever needed. The location is also fraught with distractions, some of which (like a band-aid) are very necessary, and others (like the TV) that are not. The only time I’m really productive there is when the rest of the family is either at school/work or asleep upstairs.

So I’ve switched it up. I now have my laptop on the desk in the bedroom. I can’t simultaneously handle the household and be there because it’s removed from the action, then again I can’t handle the household and write anyways. So it works. I choose. When I don’t have to be handling everything else, I can be in the bedroom. Fortunately, my 5yo is usually content to play either in her room or the workroom (also upstairs) which has a television and a couple of computers to play on. My netbook is downstairs so I can log on to social media or check e-mail or even write if I choose to.

One advantage to having the computer upstairs is that I can hook up my nook to the bedroom speakers and play Pandora radio. It’s great for writing, esp. since I bit the bullet and paid a small fee to go commercial-free. The only difficult part is that the controls are far from the computer, so if I Pandora gets wild and plays something I don’t like, I have to either live with it (and live with her thinking I actually liked that song and might want more like it) or I have to get up to go click the thumbs-down. I purposely don’t run Pandora off the laptop unless I don’t have a choice.

Another nice thing is that we have a cat door in our bedroom door. This is important. If you close a door on a cat, the cat panics. It scratches and howls and otherwise lets you know that its movements are not to be impeded. I have four cats, and they all get rather pissy at a closed door, esp. a closed door with Mommy on the other side.

Kids are more understanding of the closed door. With my teenager, it’s very important that I be able to give her that sign that says “I want privacy.” For my 5yo, she doesn’t usually knock anyways. In some ways, I still like this little bit of left-over behavior from the days when she slept in our room…it’s comforting to me to know that if she needs something, she will come to me. And anyways, if it’s just her and me at home, I won’t close the door and I will make sure she stays upstairs, so I know she’s safe.

There are still distractions. Even just writing this blog post at about 600 words, I’ve had to stop several times. Once when my teenager ceased to function as a human being and her PCA and I agreed the afternoon was over and the PCA should just go home. (My daughter has special needs, and she needs an adult on hand at all times.) I fixed dinner sometime in there, and I’m eating as I write.

I set the goal of submitting something once a week. Last week, I didn’t make it. That’s not so bad, but if it’s two weeks in a row, something is wrong. I think I might take out one of my lunar shorts and polish it up to send to GETLF8D so I at least can say I submitted something this week.

Posted in Commentary & Musing | Tagged , , , , | 4 Comments

Interview with DeAnna Knippling

deannakDeAnna sits in front of a keyboard all day trying to figure out whether the dark shape moving in the reflection of the screen is just her imagination.   Often it turns out to be her daughter or husband trying to sneak up on her.  A freelancing writing, editing, and formatting jack of all trades, DeAnna’s ambition in life is to learn how to take more ladylike bites out of life instead of shoving it all in at the same time.  Just kidding.

DeAnna writes adult SF/F/H as DeAnna Knippling, middle-grade as De Kenyon, and mysteries as Diane R. Thompson.  She runs her own small press, Wonderland Press, in an an attempt to keep things organized.  You can also find her at her blog, www.DeAnnaKnippling.com.

 1.       Why do we have to pronounce the K in your last name? Or are we not supposed to and I’ve been saying it wrong since the day we met?

It’s K-nippling.  It’s German, which means that we have a tendency to make more throat-clearing noises than are strictly necessary; also, that side of my family tends to have this dry sense of humor.  I wouldn’t be surprised if someone didn’t go back into our family history and find out that the K wasn’t supposed to be pronounced until one day, some distant Knippling ancestor said, “Okay, cuzzes, let’s mess with people…”

2.       How do you plan to celebrate Towel Day this year?

I’m looking forward to my first shower in months, actually.  The life of a freelancer is hard.  So hard.

3.       Have you failed somehow as an author if you google yourself and don’t find any pirated books?

Yes.  [Sob.]  It’s like having that beat-up car whose doors you never have to lock. You could leave cash in the glovebox and nobody would ever know.

4.       As a ghostwriter, are you ever frustrated that you can’t talk about your projects?

Not really.   It’s more like being in Fight Club or having a clearance.  I know something you don’t know…

5.       Which came first, writing as DeAnna Knippling or as De Kenyon?

DeAnna.  I originally planned to keep everything under MY OWN NAME.  Then I had a kid.  No, it wasn’t having a kid that did it.   It was having a kid in daycare that did it.  When I finally met other parents and saw how weird they were about what kids could/couldn’t read or say or do.  The first time I heard a parent say, “Don’t say the word stupid, that’s not very nice” I realized that perhaps having a kid’s pen name could be a good choice, because if some of my kids’ stories are pushing the limit (especially the ones about parents who aren’t very good at it), then quite possibly I could be causing some kids issues with their parents if they caught the kid reading some of my adult works.  And some of my adult works are so grim that I wouldn’t want a ten-year-old to pick one up by accident.

6.       Why did you choose De Kenyon as a pen name?

Easy.  I didn’t change my name when I married, and my daughter’s last name is Kenyon.  So now part of me is named after her.

De is just another aspect of DeAnna.  I go by them interchangeably in person.

7.       Do you have separate social media accounts for your pseudonym?

I do, but they languish on the vine.  I should just delete them, because they were just exhausting to maintain.  Cut into writing time.

8.       Have you ever been criticized for writing multiple genres and for multiple age groups?

Nope.  I sometimes criticize myself.  “It might be easier to build up a fan base if you had some consistency, self.”  “Bugger off, stupid nagging voice in my head.  Just bugger off.”

9.       What is weird west fiction?

A Western with speculative elements.  You still have to have Western tropes and themes, though.  Aliens vs. Cowboys was a Weird Western.  I love writing them, because I grew up weird in South Dakota.

10.   What motivated you to start the Wonderland Press?

The fact that it’s easier to publish under multiple pen names if you have a publisher name to organize them 🙂  I think now I’m finally confident enough that I can go, “Oh, yes, I have a small press,” but when I started out I was constantly terrified that someone would yell at me for having a small press.  “Go home, stupid writer, you’re drunk!”  But nobody has.  I think people just expect me to do strange things, which means I can often get away with doing strange things without a lot of specific criticism.  “Oh, it’s just DeAnna being DeAnna again.”

11.   Has anyone ever mentioned that your smile resembles that of a Cheshire cat?

No, thank you!  The Alice books are my favorite books ever.

12.   How is being a writer similar to schitzophrenia?

You’re split off from the world.  The better you can split yourself off, and the better you can convey what you see in that other world, the better you are as a writer.  Imagination is a dangerous thing to give in to; if you’re not doing what it wants, it can throw you into depression.  If you’re doing what it wants, you can be cut off from the people around you.  People who have a passing acquaintance with imagination go, “Oh, you’re so creative!  Where do you get your ideas?”  But if you’re opening the door to your imagination on a daily basis, you know it’s not you that get the ideas; it’s the ideas that get you.  You don’t follow them, you get nightmares and feel half-dead all day.

13.   Is writing a murder mystery for a party game very different from writing a murder mystery for a book?

I actually think writing the games is much cooler.  Harder, but cooler.  A book, you can control the reader throughout the book.  A game, you have to wind everyone up and just let them go, and a lot of behind the scenes work goes into making sure even the most “minor” character is fun to play, and is connected to enough people to a) be able to find clues and b) look like a suspect, but c) not unravel things too fast or d) get overwhelmed by tasks.  In games, you have to make sure every person, including the person running the game, is controlled enough to give players the experience they want, but in a book, you only have one reader to control and entertain.

DeAnnaK doom14.   Was the editing process for Choose Your Doom! Zombie Apocalypse more difficult than editing a normal story?

I did a flow chart.  An IMMENSE flow chart.  I ended up having to edit the flow chart, and it about killed me.  The text itself was an easy edit, because by then we were done messing with the flow chart.

15.   I’ve never understood how a lover of music could stand to teach beginners and listen to the screeching and squalling. Likewise I can not fathom being a lover of words and having to go through a slush pile. How do you keep your brain in gear while searching for that gem in the slush?

Reading slush isn’t the same as teaching writing, or teaching music, or even judging a high-school music contest.  Reading slush is sifting through job applications.  Beginning writers like to think that editors are there to help them grow, like beautiful little flowers being tended by benign gardeners.  No.   Editors are there to sell stories to readers.  The growth process is something that happens only after you’ve gotten a foot in the door–just like any other job.  No job’s going to hire you based on their need to help you grow as a person, although they might send you to some continuing ed classes after you’ve been with them for a while.  When I slush, I go, “Can this person do the job?”  Usually, it doesn’t take too long to figure out whether they can or not, a paragraph or two.  It’s the ones that are pro-quality but off on genre that are frustrating… “Great!  A world-class plumber!  Too bad we’re only hiring electricians.”

So how do I keep my brain in gear?  I don’t.  If I find myself going, “blah blah blah” while reading a story, I stop reading and send the rejection letter.  My brain going out of gear is a sign that the writer’s not ready.

16.   Should only guinea pigs worry about the Guinea Pig Apocalypse? Or does this affect the world at large?

The Guinea pigs go through some tough times, I won’t lie.  I’m pretty upfront about the fact that not all the pigs make it.  But, really, it’s something we should all be worried about, because the implications are staggering.  I don’t think even the squirrels really understand the chaos they’ve unleashed.

17.   What is your favorite electronic or digital writing tool?

Shameless plug, I write on StoryBox, which is software that my friend Mark Fassett for indie writers and publishers.  He’s in the trenches with the rest of us, so it’s like he wrote the software for me personally.  He didn’t, but I find it Just Right.  And TrackerBox will take all your indie reports and turn them into graphs, so you can go, “X story is my bestseller” and “Sales on Y story have been going up; maybe I should promote that one more.”  So nice.

18.   What is your favorite non-electronic writing tool?

Teeny notebooks.  I keep one in my purse.  One page will be a grocery list; the next will be the word ZOMBIES circled three times and the note “Army of Dreamers = Chop Suey” along with a bunch of character names with arrows to show secret relationships, and then I IS AN OTHER scrawled beside that.  Not enough room to get anything down but the essentials.

19.   What is the most persistent distraction from writing?

Not being crazy enough about the story.  Jumping onto Facebook isn’t the problem, it’s just a symptom.  But the solution, giving yourself over to your imagination, is more of a commitment to the crazy than most people can feel comfortable with on a consistent basis.

20.   Who shot first, Han or Greedo?

Han, mentally counting credits and calculating time vs. interest on his loan to Jabba, didn’t look up as a shadow came a little too close to the table.

A split-second later, Greedo’s hand slid slowly along Han’s thigh.  The Rodian leered drunkenly and make obscene squrnking noises.

Han cursed himself and grabbed Greedo by the wrist, twisting until he heard a whimper of pain. “Get your hand off me, you stinking Rodian slimeball.  I’m waiting for a client.”

Greedo laughed mockingly and tried to slide closer.  “You’ll always be waiting for a client, Solo.  You should start being less picky about who you service.”

Han took another drink of his rough brandy, bending the wrist hard enough to produce grinding noises.  “Try sitting with me at a table again and you’ll find out how my service is.  Now get outta here.”  He shoved Greedo onto the floor, where he flopped into another customer.  One thing led to another, and soon Greedo was pitched out into the cold desert night and the bartender was sweeping glass off the floor.

The Rodian was already forgotten.  Han had bigger fish–bigger Hutts–to fry.  And besides, Rodians weren’t his type.

DeAnna and me at the PPWC in Colorado Springs last April. The first two pics turned out blurry, so in this one I'm holding my breath.

DeAnna and me at the PPWC in Colorado Springs last April. The first two pics turned out blurry, so in this one I’m holding my breath. That explains the manic look on my face.

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